Two Sides and a Friend To Every Story

Wow. A dude here at the workplace has a buddy or a friend or an ex-co-worker or a story about whatever it is that you just finished an anecdote about. Every time. Incredulous stories, too.  I’m thinking of really f*cking with him on an Old Testament-type story to see what he’s got in the bag.

What do I mean?  Example…
ME: “I have a rod in my leg from the time I was hit by a Harley-Davidson at 40mph in a cross-walk.  Considering how far I flew and where I landed on the street, I’m super lucky that all I had was a tib-fib fracture and some hardware.  No concussion or internal injuries, super lucky on that.”

OFFICE AESOP: “Ah, yeah, a buddy of mine once was in a crowd of people, he was looking the other way like a dumbass. They were at a race like a street race thing, kinda dumb but anyway, yeah… One of the motorcycles in the race got too low or something around the corner, and he was, like, the only one who didn’t move when it went into the crowd.  Totally took his feet out and he broke, like, his tibia, fibia, part of his knee, snapped his ACL, it was baad.  He still rides his motorcycle though.”

Multiply this 5 times a day.  And if you’re working on something on your laptop and want him to peek over shoulder, just say, “Hmm…”

I think it’s part of a deeper need within Maslow’s Hierarchy from Psychological up to Self-Actualization with a detour at “VALIDATE ME” or maybe just “NOISE MEANS POPULAR.”

Anyway… I like when an anecdote is added to add value or humor, but every time? EVERY TIME. Every Tifuckingme.  Wow.

KeySmart Product Review: Sleek, Stylish, Slow

If you don’t have time to get to the meat of this, here’s the final judgment:
Cool little gadget, but I’d rather have my money back.  Didn’t gel for me.

I have a few jangly keys in my rotation that I use on a regular basis. The amount of room they took up on the rings, plus a few extraneous membership ID tags from businesses and the county library, caused quite an unsightly, uncomfortable pocket-lump.  And I wanted to smooth that issue out as best I could.  I got one of those Cool Item Offer Emails-de rigueur one morning and there was a key-taming solution: KeySmart. And it was ON SALE! Thank you, Cookie-logging Data-gathering Online Shopping gods!

keysmart_regular_red_1024x1024

So I bought one, the red one, so I could start slimming up my key ring, and come roaring into a world of thinner key configurations and numerous configurations adapatable to my lifestyle!  HELL YES.  And when it arrived, I was pretty amped.  So I got to work on it.  I bought the slimmest one because I was determined to narrow down my keys to what I actually use on a daily basis.  That’s 4 keys, not including the chipped ignition key for my boss ride (2000 Accord PAID-FOR STRAIGHT CASH WHUUUUT). And no membership cards.

After the first 24 hours of use I thought I had done something wrong.  I mean, it’s a gadget, a thing that addresses, but doesn’t necessarily SOLVE, a problem, so maybe I wasn’t in the flow of maximizing this thang.
The keys I needed were tucked neatly away, but nearly inaccessible with one hand (think: carrying bags up to the front door, need to put ’em down).  It looked cool, this pocket-knife-like key organizing implement, but, uh… I couldn’t easily access the most-used keys (home, office, cabinets) because, well… they were neatly tucked away in the KeySmart.  After a month of use I have gone back to my Middle Earth “ONE RING TO HOLD THEM ALL, AND IN MY POCKET BIND THEM” usage, but at a greatly reduced quantity.  The KeySmart is outta the rotation, and maybe I can use it for something else.

PROS:  Slim, good look, expandable, accesssories, capacity restricts extraneous key holding.
CONS: Can’t one-hand a key if the end-screws are snug, kinda pricey ($15-$40 for the Titanium model), restrictive return policy (send it back unopened)

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