I may have ADD.  I’m pretty sure I can’t chalk up the numerous side-steps and half-done projects of my life to being distracted by others all the time.  Some of these loose ends are perhaps my nature, but some of them are things that, left undone, leave me worse-off.  A lack of focus, or a compulsivity to anti-work, combined with a desire to really, truly WANT to finish something is a fantastic step towards the maddening of everybody who depends on me in some way.  Like Family and Work, you know… no bigs.  New baby, longer commute, less sleep, oh yeah, recipe for success, folks.

Whatever level of ADD I have, however it’s categorized, isn’t like a form of mental illness, for me.  There’s a point of medication a “crazy” person can take that dials down the crazy to a level where they can function as a person, but perhaps not a spouse or parent or friend.  I feel for those people, having seen my own father lose a battle with dementia at too early an age.  I’m not crazy; more like my brain runs 10,000 RPM most of the time, and it’s shooting sparks and ideas and things I ought to go do, but nothing is there to put it in gear.  That’s where my new adventure comes in.  I am positive and happy that a lot of people in our lives have a cocktail of brain chemicals that are better off stirred with a little extra shot of this-‘r-that.  But that’s not where it stops, in the doctor’s office.

The past few months have been somewhat cleaner, mind-wise.  First, I was turned on to something called “Alpha Brain” via Joe Rogan’s tweets.  I’m skeptical of most things, but imagine playing a game of bumper cars with your ideas every day.  DO THIS, I’M DOING THIS RIGHT AFTER I DO THIS, BUT FIRST I’LL DO THIS AND THAT WILL BE THERE LATER… what was I going to do again?  Then just a period of unproductive screen staring.  Go into a room to get the laundry.  Clean the room.  Forget the laundry.
Seriously, this cannot be just boredom with life.  Plus there was a feeling as if I had a fog, a layer of fuzz in the middle of my head that was like the fog of a hangover without the pain.  I feel most days like my brain is holding its breath all day.  So when I saw Alpha Brain, I was willing to try anything.  Plus it’s a natural supplement.  I can’t be staunchly anti-pharma when trying to medicate myself back to normal wavelength, but I do believe that Nature holds a cure for nearly every human ailment.  And holy shit, folks, Alpha Brain is the REAL DEAL.  The fog was gone. The acuity was razor.  The 3-steps-ahead thinking was automatic.  I’m not talking “Limitless” starring Bradley “A-List Ass All Day” Cooper, but the closest I’d ever get.    I have a few Alpha Brain left for some of my more important days coming up.    $35 plus shipping.

It was a bit pricey for me to keep re-upping at the time, so I researched NOW Foods, and found 2 of their supplements close to what Alpha Brain delivered.  First, Brain Elevate, and also, True Focus.  Natural supplements, not loaded with lab-borne items.But the cocktail of BE and TF have served me very well in the past 2 months.  Most days I’ll take 2 BE and a TF in the morning with water and a cup of coffee.  There’s not only a focus but also a calmness; I’m not buzzed, I’m just There.  No panic, no mental ping-pong.  Focused and cognisant of what I’m supposed to do.  True, this is a medicated version of me, and probably a laconic one.  But I’ve also performed comedy after “dosing,” and I’ve never felt sharper or more in-gear than those sets.  Total investment, $22 through www.Netrition.com.

So now I’m about to start trying something called Concerta, a.k.a. Methylphenidate.  Yeah, this stuff costs $153 on my Aetna plan, thanks a ton for the NoPremium/HighDeductible plan!  Concerta may help me a bit better or worse than where I am.  It may zone me out.  It may dial me in.  I don’t really know.  But for $153, it either has to work all the way or I’ll be incredibly pissed off.  This is a prime example of why BigPharma is going after supplement companies in Congress.  See the giant gap in the Supplement Price vs. Concerta?  $100 less for all-natural ingredients.  Still not sure I’m gonna go on this stuff.  I fear mostly the zombie effect that these drugs can throw into the day.  If anybody has any experience with it, lemme know.  For the most part I feel as happy and dialed-in as ever without something like this, not knowing how strong it is.

But I ain’t losing sleep over it.