Cause Celebre

Wow… if you didn’t see the opening of the Tour de France – and let’s face it, you probably didn’t – you might have heard about the world-class narcissist who stuck their body and a sign in front of the pack in order to get on TV… AND THEN CAUSED A MASSIVE PILE-UP.

On day 1.

At stage 1.

No? See below. It’s just encroyable!

The spectator who caused the Tour de France pileup has reportedly fled the country | The Week

Then this mental mannequin supposedly bailed on a flight outta the country. How do they know? If they couldn’t identify the person then where’s the traceability? Who knows them? I’m sure there’s plenty of guilt and shame lingering over what they call a soul, but I understand why they won’t come forward to accept their punishment. FFS, people have murdered people for being fans of an opposing team THEY DO NOT PLAY FOR… so imagine being the person holding a sign that says “ALEZOPI-0MI!” prior to causing a massive crash that sends heavily-sponsored and (likely drug-enhanced) bike riders to l’hopital! Yeah, get le fuck outta towne.

Political Theatre – This Isn’t “Hamilton”

This week America will witness the second impeachment trial of Donald J. Trump, a malignant, delusional wanna-be dictator and elite-level, flaming-pants liar. I’m only somewhat stunned that the Republicans in Congress haven’t come out against him in hopes of righting the listing frigate that was once the pride of Judeo-Suburban America. I grew up in a conservative house that attended church a LOT, and the Regan era was spoken of in tones of reverance in a manner I can best describe as “brainwashed.” I see it again with people I know to vote, lean, or finger-point as Republicans.

While the GOP’ers will cry “foul,” and say that you cannot impeach a President after they are out of office – and are going to keep screeching that this is all “Political Theater” to punish the Trump legacy (yeah, no shit, that’s the reason you indict and pursue people for inciting riots and insurrections that result in the deaths of 5 citizens) – those who speak out publicly FOR the impeachment from the Red side of the aisle are the bravest in the room. They have a bigger vision of what the Republican Party could be, a new messaging and re-branding with a cleaner identity than the hilariously misguided, easily-duped, Confounded-by-Consequence Honkeys (PIPE BOMBS, folks) who chant their own mottos but vote Republican out of a moral conviction to screw over an imaginary, darker-skinned person.

Trump’s rise to popularity, and the subsequent rise to power, led to some exposure of America’s fault lines of tectonic bigotry. He bobbed to the top of a movement of faux-psychology around the “demasculinization” of The American Male. I have a bit in my comedy act about how, if anybody were to try and storm the cockpit of an airplane, there are a lot of guys on there who would relish the chance to live out their bloodsoaked Rambo fantasy. Odds are, without a gun in their hand, 99% of men with this idea wouldn’t budge from their seat. And it’s that same mentality that has led to…

this study pinpoints a more powerful influence: how much people buy into the idea that men are dominant, tougher, more powerful, or high-status than other people.”

My opinion is (worthless but I think) that Republican Senators value their seats in office more than upholding the Constitution. They’ll use word salads and mental gymnastics to state why the former and worst-ever President can’t be impeached having left office. So the GOP’ers will sit on another one and wait around for the next election cycle while collecting paychecks for having done little to nothing to help their voters. Instead of taking time to divest themselves from a malignant presence and re-think their messaging and platform it’s easier to just point at Democrats as being on an expensive witch hunt to destroy the legacy of Donald J. Trump. I would say it’s a great reminder of how close America is to getting its Reset button pushed. Until then, grab your popcorn and vote like it matters.

The Ray/Lee Files IX: It’s Not A Coincidence

For years now I have had a weird fascination with how certain middle names align with certain crimes. I noticed that people with the middle names of “Ray” or “Lee” seem to perpetrate an inordinate number of crimes, and usually, the more heinous in nature are those crimes. That’s not to say everyone with either of those middle names HAS or WILL commit a heinous crime. Just saying that when I see a crime like “Man accused of poisoning step-sister at Easter brunch” or some-such, I always click in to see what the guy’s name is. The accused’s middle name is often posted to help the reader differentiate between Danita Renae Horvath of Lincoln, NE and Danita Lee Horvath of Lincoln, NE who was found covered in entrails outside the petting zoo…

And here we go again…
“North Carolina Man charged with killing his wife with  poisonous eyedrops.

A North Carolina man has been charged with using Visine eye drops to kill his wife of eight years. Joshua Lee Hunsucker, 35, was arrested and booked late last week, charged with the first-degree murder of Stacy Robinson in September 2018. His bail has been set at $1.5 million.

Lawyers for Hunsucker “strenuously opposed” the allegations and pleaded that his bail should be lowered to $50,000 so he can be with his two young children. The judge refused the request.

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I’ll say right now that allowing that guy to see his children would be a huge, deadly mistake. This dude’s sick and has cracked, dead-eyed to the world and probably touting a “nobody understands” mentality. Until further notice, please refrain from middle names of Ray or Lee when naming anbody other than an alligator or sword-wielding gorilla.

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