Category: Fitness

Be Not Still, My Beating Heart

On the afternoon of March 14th, following some busy days and nights, I got home and felt like my chest was frozen. After sitting around and letting everything reset, I felt better, but that’s not a far walk from what I had been feeling. I told myself “don’t mess around here, man, this isn’t funny, this isn’t acid reflux.”

I walked around my yard for about 5minutes, and again felt frozen between my shoulders. I had never felt anything like it, and it freaked me out. It was painful, but not like a sore muscle. I wasn’t sweating, nor feeling a looming sense of unmitigated despair any more than usual. So my wife drove me to the ER. I walked in and told the folks there what was going on, and with eyes widened the way you’d widen your eyes if somebody had a harpoon in their ear and asked if it “looked bad” but you didn’t want them to panic, they told me to sit down and do some tests. My blood pressure was up, oxygen was OK, and I went to a room for observation.

An EKG showed no signs of a heart attack. A blood test found no evidence of a heart attack. I was admitted a few hours later with the aim of being kept overnight for an angiogram. It’s that procedure where a doctor snakes a thin tube into your artery (they went in through my wrist but shaved an area peri-groinal just in case… they needed even more power over the situation), to your heart, and you watch the entire thing on an X-Ray monitor while iodine is injected in a the artery, showing any areas of narrowing or damage. I was kinda high when they did it, after they had injected me with a light sedative, which calmed me down after I had spent a good half hour crying in my hospital room. They should grow a hybrid of Sativa, Indica, and Sense of Mortality. Really burns off the white noise.

So as I’m lying on the table, the doctor comes in and tells me this is his 4th procedure of the morning. I’m a little worried because it’s coming up on lunch time and, that usually leads to rushed or sloppy work. But the staff threw the X-ray over me and we watched my heart thumping away. I couldn’t really see anything of a blockage as they had yet to inject the iodine. I didn’t feel anything more than a poke at my wrist when they made the insertion. I just lay there with very little to think about other than my life, and my family, and my future with my family.

A minute or maybe 5 later, it was show-time. The doctor injected the iodine, enough to darken the artery we suspected was having an issue. It showed up like a black worm on the screen, wriggling beneath the right atrium as blood was struggling to get through. And there it was…

RCA-xray
Not my heart, but I was pinched above the PDA

 

 

My right coronary artery, had a 1.5mm area that was 70-80% narrowed/blocked/too small. 1.5mm. That’s miniscule. In the universe it doesn’t register as a blip of a blip’s blip. But it can cause huge issues. It can kill you. Is that how I wanted to go? After being run over by a Harley 20 years ago, narrowly avoiding 100’s of car accidents, almost flipping a car on 520, but I get taken out by 1.5mm of blocked artery…

A moment later the doctor said, “OK, there it is, that skinny part in the middle is the problem. Let’s get that back open here.” A stent was placed, and I could see the vessels and branches into the ventricles all grow darker, as well. They were finally getting far more blood than they had in quite a while. I was up and walking around my hospital room that night, and went home the next day, happy to go pick up my boys after school.

The staff said “Wow, you’re smart for coming in when you did. Too many guys try and walk it off.” Being proactive AND correct is very rare for me. I was even more grateful for listening to myself, and even in the face of some strong agnosticism, I fully believe that I have angels (for lack of a better term) that whisper to me.

Since this happened, I’ve felt far better than I have in about a year, and probably 3. Of COURSE I feel better – my heart’s working much more closely to “Normal”, ya big goose!  If you think something’s wrong, if you have consistently high blood pressure, please go get things checked out. You can save yourself a lot of trouble, and maybe even a lot of life.

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Eat It! Protein Cookies

Power Cookies

–          As a young boy growing up in Federal Way, I would often spend my time in the woods behind my friend’s house, riding my cobbled-together BMX-style bike up and down the trails. Jimmy and I would spend hours in our imaginations, fighting aliens and powerful villains with names like MORDOK and RYAN BRINGLEY. My bike wasn’t as fancy as some of the other kid’s bikes, because the one my dad bought me for my birthday was stolen and later trashed and recovered from a swamp behind Jimmy’s house. I had a pretty good idea who had taken it, but at 6 years old I was in no position to fight an 11 year-old and win. So if they ever hit their knee on something in the middle of the night or lose $500 at a poker game and their wife leaves them, good.

–          I came up with this variation of whey protein cookies because my kids just don’t seem to get nearly enough protein in their daily intake. They’ll only eat, and we’ll only cook, so much chicken and shrimp and salmon and hand-rubbed, grass-curious red meats. Chicken nuggets can only go so far.

o   This is just a supplemental “treat” for kids. My dudes go through runs of picky eating, then back to consuming anything they can find that doesn’t smell too much like a Romanian’s [deleted, gross].

o   There’s not enough protein in these, I don’t think (didn’t get in to Doctor’s Food School), to get your kid, or you, super jacked nor ripped. Those are actually good things in the fitness world, but it’s more important to have a consistent routine of self-acceptance and moderate-to-chill exercise to keep stress down.

–          I don’t use sugar in these, but I don’t judge if you want to. Brown sugar works best as it adds a little more liquid via the molasses content.

–          Chocolate chips have sugar. Yes. You got me there. Alert the fitness world. Cancel my membership. I’ll be in Pseudo-foodie blogger rehab during this difficult time, please respect my privacy.

–          There are 2 variations around the protein and “flours.”

o   I’ve used both Whey Protein and Vegan protein for these.

o   These aren’t Vegan cookies in either finished-state. I know there are egg substitutes for people adhering to a vegan lifestyle but no vegans appeared in my kitchen to tell me what those are, so here ya go.

o   The proteins absorb liquids differently, so the recipes are slightly different. Just go with it.

–          These are pretty soft, cake-like cookies. This is because they’re not COOKIES in the classic sense. If that bothers you, you can email my customer relations department at GetAHobby@gblottpowercookies.com.

–          This makes about 12 palm-sized cookies, 20 smaller cookies, or 1 gloriously-gluttonous cookie bomb.

INGREDIENTS

1.      Butter – 2/3C (softened)

a.      Or –  2/3C Coconut Oil.

b.      Reduce oven temp by 25deg, as the oil could cause burning

2.      Eggs – 2

3.      Milk/Liquid – 4Tbsp

a.      I’ve used Almond, full-fat coconut, whole milk, and heavy cream. They’re all great.

b.      I once used 2Tbsp of sour cream to see what would happen and IT WAS GREAT, so there’s an option.

4.      Vanilla – 1tsp

5.      Banana – Pureed – about 3/4C.

a.      Use a green-er banana to up the resistant starch and help the gut bugs.

b.      Applesauce can also be used, but it’s not as sweet.

6.      Stevia-blend – 2Tbsp.

a.      Pure stevia is a little “earthy” for some people. The blends of stevia work well. You can use Xylitol or similar substitutes depending on your gut tolerance (i.e. sugar alcohol-based sweeteners can cause the kind of gas only little boys find to be hilariously epic).

b.      You can add or substitute 3Tbsp sugar here. No judging.

7.      Protein powder – 2/3C.

a.      I’ve used Orgain Chocolate 95% of the time. It’s a vegan powder with a good balance of amino acids, but is a bit higher in carbs due the vegetarian sources of protein. The upside is there’s more fiber to this.

b.      Orgain also needs a little more liquid added than the whey protein.

c.       MusclePharm makes a great chocolate powder and a great cookies & cream powder, depending on if you want brownie-like cookies, or vanilla-based.

8.      Flour – 1/2C.

a.      I use Bob’s 1:1 GF flour. There are a lot of good ones, but I did find the more commercially-known the flour, the less-great the tastes. 

b.      Bean-based flours give bean-based results…

c.       I haven’t used just a nut-based flour for these, but you could. The higher fat content might cause scorching, so watch your temp and bake time.

9.      Baking Soda – 1/4tsp

10.  Salt – 1/4tsp

11.  Baking powder – 1/4tsp (optional, makes it a little fluffier)

12.  Chocolate Chips – 1/3-1/2 C

a.      Check the label for ingredients to match your dietary needs.

13.  Optional

a.      Pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, bacon bits (yep), etc.

 

DO WORK – This is pretty much old-fashioned cookie-making from here on… The only thing to look out for is when adding the dry ingredients, the vegetarian protein and GF flour can suck up liquids pretty quickly. Have a little extra milk of your choice on hand.

–          Heat oven to 350

–          Mix ingredients 1-5 with a hand mixer. It might be a bit more soupy than you’re expecting. You’ll be fine. Do some air squats.

–          Grab a good spatula and warm up your elbow.

o   (no, it’s not “Masquerade Night” at the neighbor’s house)

–          Combine your dry ingredients in a bowl.

–          Add half of your dry ingredients and keep stirring and folding.

o   You’ll know pretty quickly if you need more liquid, depending on how fast the dry stuff starts absorbing the wet.

o   Add about 1Tbsp if you need more.

o   Getting dry? With the veg powder, add more of that. It will add flavor, protein, and sweetness.

o   With whey powder, add half + half GF flour. Whey doesn’t always mix well with these other things to firm up.

o   Add the rest of the dry ingredients.

o   Add milk as needed to keep it in between cookie dough/cake batter. Thicker is better.

–          Fold in however many chocolate chips you haven’t eaten.

–          Take a spoonful and plop it in a coffee mug or small bowl.

o   Microwave that for about 30sec.

o   Let it cool down. Take a taste to check what you need at this point.

o   Sweeter? Sprinkle 1Tbsp of stevia.

–          If you’re good widdit, get a baking sheet!

–          Drop spoonfuls of dough on the sheet. You can use parchment paper or lightly grease the sheet, but a dry sheet seems to work fine.

–          Keep your cookies about the size of a hockey puck.

o   They are kind of filling, which is part of the point.

Set the timer on your phone, tablet, and fitbit for 10min. Check the cookies at 10min.

Touch it. Does it spring back in the middle? TAKE THEM OUT RIGHT NOW and let them cool down.
No spring? Give it about 2min, then take them out.

Again, I tried to find something to add to a pretty healthy food map my kids travel that would add protein and the benefits of it. They don’t usually have any sugar-related behavioral swings, digestive issues (other than a good “clearing”), nor turned-up noses with these. 

 

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Time Travel

The past almost-6 months have been crazy in various ways.

Work-wise I as given a project that is like living with a demanding, under-medicated chimp. It could rip your arms off and eat your hands, or just kinda hang out and cuddle, READY HERE WE GO nope, all good.

Life-wise, we’ve had some vacations (LegoLand: We Hope You Like LEGOs All The Time!) ed. note: We do…. and some trips to the ER (on my birthday! for me!)… and some other life-lessons (don’t have a discussion about money the day after you buy expensive stuff).

Societally, I now know the politics of 78% of my kids’ classmate’s parents, and some of them are pretty surprising, if not downright frightening. Lotta people buying bunker supplies already. Not sure if I’m nervous or turned-on.

ANYway, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for not writing more. Between the Project, the Infection, and the Election, my life was all sorts of crazy. I feel like I aged from 38 to 43 in the past 3 months. But as I always try to do, the lessons I’ve picked up have been wonderful.  For example…

  1. Quitting Is Not An Option:  Look, sometimes, it sucks. Work. The day. This party. Stain removal from the party. Your kid’s friends. And I want to say F THIS S, and just stop doing what’s not fun and move on with whatever. But I don’t. I wake up, I thank G-d for another day to try to get it right, and I check “Didn’t Kill A Punk Bo-Hatch” off my list.  I can’t quit. I have bills.
  2. Quitting Is An Option:  Yes, you can chuck it all and bounce. You can. Your moral level-line likely keeps you from doing so, but yeah, you can escape. My older son quit coach-pitch baseball this season after 6 weeks. 3 of which were rained out.  3 games. 90min practices. And the coach, meh, he’s a great coach for 10 year olds. But not 6-7 year olds, like my son. And my kid’s happier, getting to focus on soccer and football and reading. And I got 8 hours of my week back.
  3. Apologetic Assertiveness: I’m not assertive unless what I’m dealing with is Wrong, on a moral, practical, or personally financial sense. I was called “a push-over” at work by somebody on another team, because I didn’t push back on a topic 3 other people had talked to death. When I remarked that any agreement and discussion on the call would have just been expensive noise, seeing as how we’re all being paid to talk instead of work on the problem we all agreed on, I don’t really care what he thinks of me. Then I had to assert myself when asked why so many people were in a particular meeting.
    1. Because the initial invite list was 8 people, and 3 of those people invited 2 other people (14 now), and 3 of those 6 invited 1 other person each (17 now), and 2 of them invited 2 other people (21).  And only 5 of the original 8 are even talking. So this went from a discussion to a weekend party when the parents are gone and everyone heard about it. Why don’t we ask the people who aren’t talking why they’re here?  (Silence)

So, yeah, I don’t dictate attendance, I just make the meeting go.

ANYwho, we’ll come back around to some stuff at some point.

The biggest news is that I’m down 20lbs from the start of the year, and my Flag Football team started the season with a 20-7 romp over the Northshore Vikings. So, things are good.

Thank you for reading. Anything I can write up for ya?

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Organic Chocolate Vegan Protein Pudding Recipe

I rarely post recipes here but wanted to share this one because it’s been a real life-saver for this newly Dairy-Free protein supplement junkie.

I first came across the magnificent valley of green bounty early in a hike up…
KIDDING.  Too many recipes have an overblown backstory of the author’s emotional attachment to locally-sourced berry compotes, but not me.  Won’t catch me rambling on about things that don’t feed the story. I hate that. Not “hate,” that’s a strong word I like to reserve for Hate Groups and people who dawdle in the line for samples at Costco.  MOVE ON WITH YOUR MINI-TACO, ya know?  Jeez.

OK, but, I came up with this randomly. I had a food sensitivity panel done and milk, dairy, and whey were all highly allergenic to my system, so I had to find a new protein supplement.
This mix comes out like a chocolate pudding/mousse.  It’s thick and has a chocolate cake-batter type flavor. I think the coconut cream adds a great smoothness to it, healthy-ass fats to keep fats off your healthy ass, and helps it firm up in the fridge.
My kids even like this, which is very rare.

  • Ingredients (here’s what I use, do what you like):
    Orgain Chocolate Protein Powder – 2/3 Cup
    Almond Milk – 2/3 Cup
    Coconut Cream (Trader Joe’s has a great one for $1.50) – 1/4 Cup
    Vanilla Stevia drops – 4-5, or to taste
    Options:
    Cinnamon, Fiber powder (I have used Acacia fiber, 0 taste to it), a pinch of sea-salt, almond butter, peanut butter, melted coconut oil (drizzle it in and it makes coconut “chips” when it cools), etc.
  • Put the first 2 in a bowl and sloooooowly mix them together with a whisk. Vegetable-based protein powder has a much finer texture than whey, and will go “aerosol” on ya if you get aggressive with it.
  • After it combines, it will be a little soupy but thicker than a usual protein shake. It’s okay to add a little more almond milk to loosen it up, but not too much.  You want to keep it well-combined but a little thick
  • Add the coconut cream and stevia, and any extras. The cream really smooths the mixture. It will help bring it all together when it cools in the fridge, also.
  • Chill for 30min-1hr while the mixture chills for 30min-1hr.

Something extra for those of us looking to get a protein fix and some sweetness to it.
YES, you can freeze it. I have an ice cream maker I plan to throw this into over the weekend. Will report back, assuming all goes well or if I don’t eat so much I’m immediately a Centaur.

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