Diaper Genie II Review

In the movie Ghostbusters, the heart of the operation is really the Ectoplasmic Containment Unit.  Some would argue it’s Annie Potts character Janine, or even Dana Barrett’s neighbor Louis, played to the understated hilt by Rick Moranis.  But no… it’s the ECU.  The ECU holds all of the captured apparitions, ghouls, and roamers captured by the gang.  Until Walter “Dickless” Peck from the City shuts the show down.

You can get a shitload of diapers in here.

Akin to the ECU is the Diaper Genie 2.  It uses a footpedal-top door-capture&drop system to receive and deposit diapers of various fill levels/matter.  From the super-peeped to the lagging loader, it can swallow up almost anything you toss down it.  Beware… there are two pieces to the DG – and thus, a greater expense is incurred.  We were given a DG as a gift, and basically have to pay for the bags every month.  Special bags. Bags that you couldn’t possibly replicate with something from the grocery store.

SlopDrop
DiaperGenie II, as used by Thing Addams

The DG has a proprietary bagging system that starts at the top with a sort of bag-sphincter.  The plastic extends from within the sphincter, ties-off to become a bag, and then drops down below the diaper air-lock.  The top of the DG opens, you drop the diaper into the chamber which is about the size of a coffee can, then release the footpedal.  That allows the dipe to drop into the abyss of the DG, effectively packing a deeper and tighter “poop sausage.”  Bags’ll run you about $7-$9 depending on where you buy ‘em.  We’ve found good deals at Target.  We’ve also found some weird accents and smells at Target.  Onward.

So here’s the issue.  The idea of the DG’s crapper-keeper is to allay the onslaught of hours & days-old dipe odors.  Those can range from warm canteloupe to a box of blood-soaked peanuts from the Civil War.  The solid-food days of the toddler’s diet are the creators of epically weird poops.  Into diapers go said poops.  Said dipes go into said Genie.

And when you rub that lamp, SIM SALAABIM… The Diaper Genie comes out and grants you 3 wishes, all of which are “MAKE IT STOP BECAUSE MY EYESOCKETS ARE BURNING!”  Also known as “The Ghost Of Breakfast Past,” the DG upper-chamber traps all the up-waft of the dipe-loads of the deep.  You pop that top and get an odiferous uppercut of kid butt.  I’d rather a Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man threaten my high-rise.

So, between the cost of the Genie, the bags, and the lingering gross-ghost, I’d pass on the Diaper Genie.  Beware to all who rub the lamp.  Frankly I find it weird poop just keeps going from one hole to another, unless you work in corporate America, where it all rolls down the aisle of your cubicle… Another time…

Having a Second Baby – A Preview

My wife’s about 11months pregnant right now, and we are beyond ready for this new baby to arrive. Even while our first one is off & on crying in his room instead of SLEEPING THE HELL OUT OF THE NIGHT, we’re pretty happy about the pending arrival. In the preceding months there have been a few discussions with other parents and friends about a 2nd baby. The best way to summarize these talks is “Mostly positive but it’s okay to shut your noisehole.” It’s amazing that some people believe simply having an opinion and a voice make either of them valid in everybody else’s world.

I have seen a lot of seemingly unsolicited voicing of the sentiment “WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP PROCREATING?!” and “I don’t want a baby ever, OMG, what would I do with all the random dick walking around my apartment?!” Hey, kids force you into a role you aren’t really ever ready for, but if your heart’s in the right place, you get ready pretty quickly. In the meantime, you realize that maybe all that dick isn’t in your best interest. Sucks to have your priorities, morals, and ideals shuffled for you. Life will do it if you don’t.

As for kids in restaurants, I feel really sorry for people who hate it when a kid saunters in and makes a little ruckus. Those poor folks think they have the right to a fancy, quiet dinner at Olive Garden! Hey, money-poor assholes, save up a few more bucks and eat elsewhere or head to the bar. The parents are doing the best we can to keep that kid under control, the good ones among us leave if the kid’s losing it, and it sucks ten times as much for us. So keep your stink-eye for your doctor when they say “Hey, how about a little less dick in your life?”

Sure, there are people who do NOT want kids. Some of them already have kids. Some of them don’t want the intrusion into their life of work, school, extended adolescence, I CANNOT FUCKING CONCENTRATE WHEN DANCING WITH THE STARS IS ON, promiscuity, drunken camping, and/or Crossfitting. Other people just don’t have the drive to procreate. Why can I still hear the judge’s scores, AND getting questions about what I’m doing? Leave me alone, I’m talking about how great our life is… faaaaawk…

So here’s the deal…
We’re parents. We parent. We are a family. We aren’t hobbyists when it comes to child-rearing. We’re sold on the idea of soccer practices, sports camps, play-dates, reading books to our kids 20 times a day, and major life prioritization. That’s for us to deal with. When I hear (from a few people) “Man, we think just the 1 kid is too much,” we already know that doing it well for just 1 kid – as there’s no real “Right” way – is hard enough. But we wanted another kid.
And our 2 kids will someday replace the scores of people who don’t want kids. Hell, they’ll replace US. And when the anti-kid folks grow old and diaper-filling, I will present to my kids a list of their names, and say “Yeah, they didn’t want to add to the generation that is now alive to help them in their final days.”

All I can hope is that we’ve taught them to do the right thing and stay out of other people’s business.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started