A Team Of One Voice

The past year, as of today pretty much, was one of some low-grade tumult – I use that word rarely because I’m not sure I know when it applies – and a fair amount of stress. I work as a software development manager, project manager, and roles that fall into those categories. I have been doing that for about 15 years, and study best practices of doing that a lot. It’s far more about The People than The Product. But a year ago that Product was put on-hold.

Long story-short, I was among a large group of people laid off due to the impact of COVID-19 on The Economy. We didn’t know what was gonna happen around this place, and a lot of companies had to look as far ahead as they could. So that meant, for some of them, cuts were necessary.

I was among those who were cut. It sucked. I was restless and agitated like a guy who wanted to not be laid off from a company he truly loved working for. But I understood the path they had to take, and I was also one of newer employees, less than 6 months on the job there, so it made sense in a lot of ways. So I did what a lot of people do in that situation; I thought applying to a lot of jobs would help!

Well it did, sorta. For months, no bites. Nothing. I slowly expanded my job searches to include skills within my role, and that did help the opportunities open up a bit. But again, for many months, not a lot of companies were hiring. The most-secure, well-positioned places were actively interviewing and probably bringing people along. I applied for more than 100 jobs, had over 40 interviews, and one company’s interview methods stood out. I won’t mention their name, because I’d still like to work for them, but this was peculiar…

Why bring it up? Because something was up with the whole deal.
There were multiple rounds of job-related conversations, different teams of peers, inter-departmental leads, and recruiters. Everything went really well, I thought, but there’s only so much you can glean from some people’s reactions. They wanted me to talk to a variety of people so that they could make a “team decision,” and this can be a struggle for someone who loves to talk about anything except themselves. Ugh. BO-RING.

After 4 rounds and about 6 hours of discussions, the lead recruiter called me. They all really liked me, thought I could do the job, but were passing because one of the 7 people I talked to wasn’t sure I had enough experience working with a particular workstream. But I was in the system and it might come around later. FFFFFffffart…

Hmm… It was the old Catch-22 of “not enough experience, and not gonna get it here.” Okay, been there before. So one of seven people thought it was an issue. Okay… It bothered me because either it was not a team decision, or the recruiter was protecting my feelings and I had mega-shat the interview process. I always ask for feedback from interviews so I can sharpen up particular areas. His only feedback was that I had provided some answers they hadn’t considered before, liked my personality, but yeah, just that one person and that one thing…

Either “that one thing” carried much more weight than the other areas, or they weren’t sure how to tell me just straight-up “Nope.” But after meeting with all the teams, I figured it’s more the latter. If it’s a team decision, one voice shouldn’t swing it that far.

Eventually I did get contacted by a company I had previously worked for, so I knew What and How They Did What They Do. One hour, 3 people, and 24 hours later I had an offer. I was in the middle of talking with 2 other firms who wanted to schedule me with 6 other people and 4 more interviews, and after a while, from the side of a candidate, it all seems like a pageantry of Importance within the company.

So I’m back and working and have a all new tumult to emotionally intelligence.

March 31, 2021 0

The Gig Files – No Time

Aaaah, the late show. In comedy, it’s either a blessing or a curse and it’s usually 40/60 to the curse. If you’re in a comedy club doing 2 shows a night, the late show on Friday is either very drunk or very underattended. I’ve seen some for comics (Gaffigan, Maron, Benson, Carolla) that are just as packed as others, but usually it’s 30-50 people who are either just out and about, or out and asleep.

No Time 1:
I accepted a good-money gig for a fundraising auction on a Saturday night. Everything was fine except the start time, in comparison to the time we went on-stage. See, if you give people in their 30’s-50’s 3 hours to mingle and drink before they have to sit and do nothing but try and pay attention… after drinking… and eatin’… and spending money… it’s tough stuff on the attention-needers (me).

The group was awesome, don’t get me wrong. They were all very cool people doing a great thing for their community, this time not involving a small-caliber rifle and rodents. So I was happy to be part of it and help out any way I could, which was just to draw a few more in with my comedy skills and local F-list Celebrity status. (F as in “who the Fuck is this guy? He’s Funny, at least.”)

So they have dranks and noshing happening for about 3 hours, and an auction, and the results of the silent auction (Pat & Marty Boudoyn took home the 8-lb chocolate box AGAIN this year, $300), AND the Dessert Dash. AND awarding a scholarship to a local student. AND then it was time for the first comedian, an hour after we were supposed to go on. Why would this suck so hard?

Well, we get paid either way. Regardless, it’s way more fun when the crowd is into the performance. And by then, they were way more into trying to sober up enough to get home before the babysitter went to $20/hr. I understand it. So the 250 people quickly dwindled (walked) to 200 in the first 10min of the show. By the time I went on, I was working with about 80.

And I basically mentioned it as such, really important to fortify the remaining people and give it all ya got to make sure they enjoyed it. It’s a one-off, so I won’t be back next year, but I don’t want to leave anybody thinking they should have left and got more hammered in their garage like they WANTED TO BUT THEIR HUSBAND WOULDN’T LET ‘EM.

So we did the thing and got the money + a little tip which was nice, and a lot of high-fives and hugs on the way out. Not even close to the worst show I ever did. That’s another time.

It’s always a sign of how things went when your closing line is “Thanks so much everybody, I hope you’ve enjoyed watching me fill my contractually obligated time, get home safe!”

The OTHER “No Time” entry is this: I have been doing stand-up comedy for a solid 12 years now. So when I get a text from a booker for a low-$ gig in less that 24 hours with a >100mile round trip, to open for a comic I wouldn’t stick around to watch? Well, I guess I’m beyond being anybody’s booty-call at this point.

Unless Jessica Biel texts me up…

April 23, 2015 0

The Gig Files – No Mic

If y’all like this post, let me know in the comments or the LIKES! or send me a basket of gluten-free brownies shaped like Jessica Biel or Diane Lane (whatever your local bakery will do for you based on their politics). “The Gig Files” will be recaps of shows I recently did from the perspective of the performer. Yelp seems to be a sounding board for everybody’s gripes and very few KUDOS! which is too bad. Then again, I think people want to complain, and a bad dining/entertainment/hash oil-making-via-Groupon experience seems to resonate more than a great one. I’ve had so many dine-outs that could have been ruined because of something small that I just brush it off now. Same thing with gigs; it’s been a while since I had 3 in a row like these…

NO MIC
Saturday night show, crappy sportsbar/roadhouse about an hour North of Seattle. I’ve done 8 shows there and I’ve been happy with 4 of them. 2 were complete failures (back when I was about a year into comedy), 2 were “meh,” and this particular gig I actually rate under the Happy-Withs.

I brought a newer comic along as an opener, dude’s very funny, and is much more slowly-paced than I am. That’s good because I won’t have to really go all-out to get the crowd to pay attention. The bar holds about 80 people, speakers way up in the rafters, and you have to be eating the mic to be heard. I have no idea what the transfer rate of lip-herpes via shared mics is among comedians, but it’s gotta be higher than, say, motivational speakers.

15minutes into my 45minute set, the mic stops working. Cuts out. Dead. I wiggle the cable a bit, it comes back. Then blacks out. Then it’s back. 2minutes later it dies again. Staff kinda works on it, but then it dies again. Dead. Done. DOS(tage). And then they tell me, “Sorry. It did that the last couple shows, too.” Oh, okay then. Happy I’m not the WHAT?

So I shouted the rest of my set into the air. And it was work. I felt like I had to project even more, and subtlety was out the window without being able to whisper.

And it was in those 30-something, unplugged minutes I really felt like, hey, I’m gonna make this a great show for the people who are here. Nobody left, and it wasn’t THEIR fault the mic cut out, so it won’t be MY fault if the show sucks. I was friggin’ exhausted afterwards. It went fine. But honestly, that kinda sucked.

April 21, 2015 0

A Mistake Made Is Proof of Production

I made a mistake recently at work… I think…

Not the kind that kills a project or gets anybody fired, but one that certainly led to the most easily-flustered to become flustered, easily. I had spent so much time updating the directives and forecasts for the area of the project I control that I hadn’t looked over to anywhere else it may have had an impact. And that’s my mistake; I should know it would do that. So when the team looked at my work for the 4th time, it hit one person; “Hey, if this is going to happen at that time, did we account for XYZ?”

No. We didn’t. None of us did. And the potential impact wasn’t huge in the terms of effort, but certainly would get people’s attention in the monetary requirements. But it was also a huge “IF.” And it was also highly unlikely EVERYTHING would come to fruition in that forecast. Which is why I went a bit over the usual ‘casting. And… nobody caught it. The senior members missed it. I missed it. We missed it. A mistake was made. After the smoke cleared from the panic alarms, I stepped back and realized I would NEVER make that mistake again. I doubt any of us will miss that portion in the future. It’s now an official “IF-THEN” part of the work.

And I thought back to the other parts of my life where I’ve made mistakes DO NOT TELL MY WIFE I ADMITTED TO THIS I WILL EMBARRASS YOU AT WORK… And wherein a lot of people make no mistakes, they also make very little noise or progress. At least they try something a little different. It starts conversations, it forces evolution, it builds character. Sometimes it totally blows a part of the Machine to shit, but it at least shows some “give a shit.” Some folks move up the ladder by never wavering from the narrow path of “The Middle.” But hey, I missed something, and if I miss it again then i should be let go. Like my granddad would tell me, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m old as dirt and don’t appreciate this bull shit.”

September 22, 2014 0

The Time I Met Adam Carolla

A few years ago, about 3+ now, I met Adam Carolla at Laughs Comedy Spot in Kirkland, WA. As a comedian and near deviant in my early 20’s, the work of Adam and Dr. Drew on “LoveLine” was a life-saver. Not only that, Adam’s humor and sensibilities match, and often surpass, my own. When I heard he was coming to my home club I immediately did everything I could to help facilitate the evening. And naturally I didn’t want to act like a total dumbass because Adam’s like the older brother a lot of us wish we had or needed.

Fast-forward to a few things Adam has said about his life and that night in particular.

1) Adam’s wife once told him, paraphrasing, that he has a way of “Bringing out the idiot in people,” I heard this years after the night I’m writing about, but it rang true that night. As part of Adam’s weekend, he was going to jaunt across the parking lot from the club to a bar called the Liquid Lime, wherein he’d sign autographs, take photos, and then try to beat it back to the club a mere 70 yards away. Instead of walking out the front door, or walking all the way from the club to the Lime via the backdoor, I was asked to drive Adam and Mike August, his road manager, over in somebody else’s 1990 Camry. So I did.
Cut to IDIOT TIME.
I gotta get Adam back to the club so we all head out the car which is parked right in the front of the Lime. I’m 8 steps ahead of them so I can unlock the car, open doors, and get back around the comedy club and drop ’em off. First I need to unlock the…
I need to unlock the Camry… Stupid button… What the… Unlock the …
I pushed the button, held the button, etc for about 10 seconds which is an eternity in the world of Adam’s Efficiency Sphere. At which point I hear what equates to “Nevermind, dumbass, I’ll walk.” It was actually “Hey, I’ll just walk.” The Idiot had been brought out. And I don’t think Adam’s being an asshole at this point, it’s just embarrassing and he’s just a guy who would rather not deal with speedbumps, and it ain’t personal.

So I manually unlock the car, alarm goes off, we get in hastily and I hit the button to unlock it and stop the alarm.
The alarm stops, I start it up and we go.

As we enter the back of the club I hand the keys back to the owner of the Camry, a guy who’d been hired as “Security” for the night. Nice enough guy. I say “Your unlock ain’t workin’,” and he goes, “Oh yeah, I heard the alarm! HA HA HA I should’ve told you it was broken.” Yeah. You should’ve.

2) Adam has referred to this particular weekend as a gauntlet, which went from I think 4 shows to a whopping 9 shows over 3 nights. He’s just so damn popular people wanna get close to him, and Laughs was exactly the spot to get close. Adam’s a worker, a do-er, and this was a weekend that put everything else I’ve done to shame. 9 shows, 90min at a go, on-stage alone. Fuggin’ amazing. Since then he’s only done bigger venues and fewer shows for more money, deservedly-so. It’s a great model to follow; if you can get to the same audience with less repetition, you’re not working harder, you’re working smarter. And less. And that’s good. No need to burn out making people laugh. Truly a hard working entertainer and philosoteur.

They say “Never meet your heroes,” because the shine’ll come off the bust. Not true. Adam’s a dude doing what he does, and great at it. I haven’t hit the Bucket List item with Adam, which is getting invited to Jimmy Kimmel’s Football Sundays and catch a Mangria buzz. But until that happens, we’ll always have a fritzed car alarm story.

November 22, 2013 0

Cold and F-You Season

Just a friendly reminder from your co-worker…

Just because you’re coughing up “less” blood doesn’t mean you’re “on the mend.” Stay at home.
You missing 2 days of work = 2 days of work missed. You getting 4 people sick = 4-6 days of work missed. Stay at home.
Your kid’s sickness doesn’t mean that kid should be socialized with other kids so that other kids’ immune systems can be exposed to your kid’s sickness and everybody takes a step forward in the “strong immune system” line. You are not allowed to compromise anybody else’s health based on short-sighted, negligent, selfish parenting. We’ll get through the 3 year-old’s party without you, your annoying fashion choices, and your overuse of the word “amazing.” Stay at home.
If I can hear you coughing and blowing your nose from 3 rows away, that’s too close. Stay at home.
Stay at home. Until March, if necessary.
Wash your hands. Wash ’em again. Soap and water’s fine. No more superbugs.
Stay at home.

October 7, 2013 1

Make Time to Take Time

Hey 7 people reading this…

Thank you, first of all, for taking time to read what’s here. My life is so busy lately that the thought of reading, of letting my brain recognize and associate meaning to letter combos, or “WORDS,” seems a task far beyond my schedule. Between work, family, a new-found appreciation for nutrient-based fitness success, and Christmas Time, this blog has been neglected.

I also perform stand-up comedy as a “second career,” though not enough to sustain a household. No, that level of success requires a dichotomous acceptance that in order to be the breadwinner of the family, one must almost never be near one’s family for more than 3 days. The work of stand-up comedy is everything off-stage; travel, radio, travel, waiting, walking around a new city before the show, napping, “writing,” travel, fighting off pneumonia, fighting off boredom-induced alcoholism, and being a spouse and/or parent. The stage-time is actually a break from everything that fuels the performance. All that stuff, the travel and the weird smelling hotels and the club-owners who try and cut your money because they sold 15 fewer tickets than they thought they would, and the knee-jerk bitchy reactions of flight attendants and gas station attendants and Marie Callendar’s late-shift servers… it’s part of the gig. It has nothing to do with ME or YOU, it’s just how that situation happened that time for you because it was your turn to run into the dumped-on attitude of a life-saddened woman in her late-40’s who is trapped between a rock and double-shift on her kid’s birthday weekend. So fuck you and do you want a roll or soup?

The rest of my life, which is really where Life happens, has been kind of weird. We, meaning all of us not just my household or family… WE all get a bit of drama from time to time. Workplace gossip. Neighborhood police activity. Diarrhea at work that involves the police. Legal marijuana. Same-sex marriages. Kids getting sick. Co-worker’s kids getting sick at the same time every Thursday (just before Happy Hour, really Marcia?).
Drama happens. Shit happens. And the more I live the more I see that the Happening of Shit is “part of the gig.”

I truly believe this statement, which I thought up a few years ago:
Madness takes root in the absence of solitude, and flourishes in the abundance of it.

If we don’t take time for ourselves, we’ll lose ourselves to everything else. We become just part of the scenery instead of allowing ourselves to enjoy it and interact with it. But if we stay separated for too long from it, if we don’t take time to be part of the rest of the world that is Life and People, and build friendships and actively love each other and our communities, then we float the river to CrazyTown pretty comfortably.

If you’re feeling lonely or alone, call a friend, get a beer, get coffee, go volunteer, see a comedy show, SOMETHING. Get out of your own head.
And if you’re around people so much that you can’t remember the sound of your own thoughts then get away for at least 24 hours. No phone, no computer. Maybe some good movies or audiobooks or a something to let your mind do some traveling without your thoughts mucking up the trip.

As 2012 comes to a close, I hope for myself to progress in all the important areas of my life, even if it’s small steps. A little less bodyfat, a little more time with my kids, a little closer to a professional certification, a bit more in the retirement accounts, more time with my wife, more time with my friends. You know…. Make Shit Happen.

Or Shit Will Happen To You.

December 24, 2012 0

Gimme Moore: I Opened For Bob Saget

I recently had the privilege and pleasure of opening for Bob Saget’s TV Special taping at The Moore Theatre in Seattle. Before I go any further I must tell you that I was recently told to not be so humble or self-deprecating when it comes to my achievements. I honestly have to be, because I’m just not a guy who can toot my own horn too loudly. Those who toot the loudest usually are off-key and poorly trained, so I keep my tooting down a bit.

But opening for Bob was awesome. Really, really fun. First, Bob Saget’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met in comedy and show business. Truly a sweet guy who has a comedic dark streak and embraces it. His history as a TV host and the TV dad (possibly the only one they ever had) to the Olsen Twins belies the fact that his act is “dirty,” hilarious, and unflinching. And it’s not “in your face,” it’s just there to be laughed about. I was really happy to work with him again, and he was very gracious in meeting my wife and good friends backstage. He’d met some of my buddies earlier this year at the Snoqualmie Casino show we did in March, and was just as cool. Consistency is truth.

Second, and screw the humility a moment, there’s a point in every comedians dreams where a full club is roaring with laughter and screaming and you can’t hear yourself think because your last words got ‘em frothy. That happened for me a few times that night. Having over 1,000 people go nuts like that – AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO SAY ‘WHAT’S UP SEAATTLLLEEE?!?!?” was a huge moment in my comedy career. It was a wall of appreciation, laughter, and good taste. I took a moment to take it all in.

Finally, in this market it’s tough to build on that success because there’s not too much else to do. BUT, I have been bugging Bob about doing some work in Vegas. He likes my stuff, I show up and do my work and get his crowd amped, and we get along greatly. So we’ll see what else happens. In the meantime I’ll be at my desk working on my Project Management certifications, hearing some new blowhard talk about all the things wrong with Project Management in America, wondering if this guy understands how loud his tooting is.

August 7, 2012 1

Is Consulting For You?

Consulting is nothing new to business. It’s been happening since the first caveman asked a buddy to figure out how they could get more speed on their spear-throws. They had different words for “spear” and “buddy,” of course, which we now call “product” and “peer.” So the path has been well-worn for at least 50 years. Are you thinking about walking it?

I first left a major company after realizing there was literally nowhere for my career to go. That was after seven years of skill development, great benefits, moderate pay increases, and being taken-over by a competitor. I had some skills that might keep me working there, for a bit more money, but it was up to me to get out and look for something better. Why? Because I had debt, of course! But honestly, hey, we’re working people. We are hunters, hence the “job hunt.” Hey, that’s why I’m here. Let me show you how to get more distance on that resumé, buddy.

But first, I will tell you this: It’s okay to be freaked out by looking for a new job. Instability happens, especially in competitive industries such as Mobile Telecom and Pretty Much Every Business. You don’t own your job, your desk, or your “space” until you do something that is so incredibly invaluable for the company that they wouldn’t think of letting you go. Don’t worry, it’s just The Truth of the workplace these days. Own your career, if not your desk-space. Here are a few reasons to go into Consulting and Contract work.

Playing The Odds:
Not too long ago I was in a panel interview at a wireless telecom giant, and the manager mentioned that his department (IT Planning) was around 60-70% contracted workers. You have a better chance getting placed via contract/consulting work than going through the normal methods of applying to a job via the company website. Eventually I got past my emotional attachment to the color of my badge and designation as either Full Time or Contract. I quit hinging the worth of my employment on whether or not I got to attend off-site rallies with full-timers. I got to the point where finishing work well and on-time was more important than sitting in on a 90minute catered lunch with a guest speaker. WORK TO DO. DO WORK. Get working, serve your project, deliver with style, get paid. You’re among friends.

Attitude Count$:
“Serve the Project.” I have worked with a lot of Full-Timers (FT’ers) who stand on either side of the “Innovation” fence. That is, one particular program manager I worked for was so sharp, affable, personable, and driven that we both knew his position was a step towards a much larger body of work outside the company. Also, I have sat in meetings where work is piling up and instead of assessing the approach and handling of the pile, the FT’ers leaned back and said “Oh well, I’m on vacation in 2 weeks anyway.” As a consultant my main task is doing a good job for the client; meeting and exceeding their expectations. I’m still competitive enough and have enough pride to wanna kick ass. Even if I’m not leaping out of bed every day to gather requirements like so many daffodils, flitting about the office to facilitate Change Management, and cheering up every soul regardless of their badge color, I’m there to serve the project’s needs and be paid well for it. So I do that, happily.

The Wide Walk Of Work:
So you have Analyst and Project Leadership experience? Great. In Healthcare? Awesome. And you think the only positions you can handle are in Healthcare? Not necessarily. First, embrace your niche. Healthcare is going to be HUUUUUUUUUGE in the next 20 years. Bet on it. If you can see trends in technology and how they’ll mesh with your industry’s growth you are well-ahead of most folks. Second, can you see how your experience would feed other industries? Fresh minds are needed for any industry’s growth, or at least, stability. Your transition from Healthcare experience to Mobile Computing may take a while, but really it breaks down to X’s and O’s; your skill + new terminology + credibility building = HIRED! Don’t limit yourself to only your industry of experience. I found myself in a food service company after years in wireless technology, and loved it!

Duration Variance:
You may be on a project for 2 years. More than likely it will be less than 12 months. I had a 5 month contract shortened to 2 because the department’s delivery strategy shifted. It happens. This is where being a full-timer to your company counts, and having saved that money beforehand comes in handy. Hopefully you have a bench to work from and get paid while honing a few skills before the next job. But if you’re somebody who likes to see things come together, launch, and repeat a few times… then you get a little antsy… this is a good road to walk.

Finances:
You often are making a greater hourly rate in contracting than you were as a FT’er. Why? Because you, or your firm, is charging more and it filters out a few more things like taxes. Oh, and the company you’re at isn’t investing in your 401k or Stock Options, so you make it up in cash. Never sell yourself short, and if you’re not ready to negotiate, go buy a book on negotiating. Money is a trade for your service. Try paying your mortgage with beers your pals owe you.

If you’re Independent, always get the contract in writing, and have an “early end” clause. For example, if you sign on for 8 months at $7K/month, include a clause that says “For every week less than 32 weeks the Consultant’s services are not needed, client will be paid ½ a standard week’s pay in a single payment.” This keeps you working at your full rate for the agreed-upon time, and if not, at least you’re not totally out the pay you could have been getting from the client or elsewhere. If they balk, offer to lower it to 1/3^rd, but don’t empty your pockets for the sake of courtesy. You’d rather be getting paid and helping out than pounding the keyboard and interviewing for work.

And save, save, save all you can, enough for about 3 months of expenses in case you find yourself on an unexpected vacation.

Socialize:
Social interwebbing is vital to your job search. From LinkedIn to FaceBook to Twitter, everything you put out there represents you, either as a person or a potential candidate. What does your online presence say about you? Are your strengths and experiences evident? If you aren’t savvy in it yet, well, I just Googled “job search and social media” and got over 200,000,000 results. I’ll let you know what I find in there. Get using technology as a means to an end; it’s not just what you’re working on, it’s working on you, too.

Consulting work and Contract work are going to be prevalent for quite a while. I doubt the forming of a Union to protect our interests, but if you are wondering who those people are that show up one day and start ruffling feathers, arranging work schedules, and presenting project plans… then are out before the holidays… that’s us. That’s me. We’re here to help that spear bring down bigger game. Good hunting.

April 24, 2012 0

Tag: Career