Cold and F-You Season

Just a friendly reminder from your co-worker…

  1. Just because you’re coughing up “less” blood doesn’t mean you’re “on the mend.” Stay at home.
  2. You missing 2 days of work = 2 days of work missed.  You getting 4 people sick = 4-6 days of work missed.  Stay at home.
  3. Your kid’s sickness doesn’t mean that kid should be socialized with other kids so that other kids’ immune systems can be exposed to your kid’s sickness and everybody takes a step forward in the “strong immune system” line.  You are not allowed to compromise anybody else’s health based on short-sighted, negligent, selfish parenting.  We’ll get through the 3 year-old’s party without you, your annoying fashion choices, and your overuse of the word “amazing.”  Stay at home.
  4. If I can hear you coughing and blowing your nose from 3 rows away, that’s too close. Stay at home.
  5. Stay at home.  Until March, if necessary.
  6. Wash your hands.  Wash ’em again.  Soap and water’s fine.  No more superbugs.
  7. Stay at home.
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About Geoff Lott

Geoff Lott is a "thinking person's comedian" as much as a "drinking person's comedian." Born and raised near Seattle, his writing and comedy is Cloudy with a Chance of Hope. Less offensive than your average nightly news program, Geoff is opinionated with intent, and a rebel without a clause. A comedian, actor, dad, husband, co-worker, weirdo, and great friend, Geoff Lott has a sense of humor like a sommelier's sense of smell; aged well, with a hint of dark chocolate, Irish whiskey, and leather. Credits and press kit available upon request!
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