HIIT – Geoff Lott – Comedy And More

So I’m like 3 months away from my 40th birthday, and I have a particular goal of dropping 20 el-beez. LB’s. Pounds. Lard Bricks. I wanna drop ’em by the Friday prior to the Super Bowl. I know I can do this, but I’m also stumped about how my droppage seems to have stalled. Admittedly, the past weekend of Halloween and eating like a foraging bear (candy, date night, pizza party and cake for the youngest’s birthday) didn’t help. I put on 3lbs since last Thursday morning. 3. It’s probably retained water and frankly I could feel it and my face looked it. So if my body will store it that easily, it can lose it that easily.

So what’m I gonna do? Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of violent minds meeting great opposition to mediocre dreams ~ Oprah Lincoln. Or whomever said it, people mash-up and misquote so many Faux-tivational quotes these days, even with the internet to validate against. Ridiculous. I have a dream that one day we will not be judged by the choosing of our quotes but by the accuracy of their citation.

So my plan is as follows:

Eat less crap: I need to be strict with my intake. Depending on which expert you ask, nutrition is 80% of the success towards weightloss. Some say 70%. I’ll gun for 76.47% and see where that lands. I can’t afford a “cheat day,” so maybe, MAYBE, one cheat “thing” a week. But not 1 crap-pile a day for 3 days. Come on, dude… Come on…
You can eat like this if you are THE ROCK. Or turn your heart into A ROCK.

It’s hilarious the games we play with ourselves about crap eating. “Oh just a little isn’t gonna be a problem.” Right. Put a cake out at your workplace and sit by it. Nobody will touch it, no matter how many people come by. Now walk around the corner, and hear the woodchipper that is your coworkers scraping the last of the buttercream off the lid. Do right by you, but no games, Geoff.
Eat more boss: My ideal meal is about like this: Roasted salmon with broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, sweet potatoes. And then right to bed. I need to get away from food, and in the house the best place to get away from food is when I’m asleep. So, eat well, then stop eating. I like the Paleo path best, and I rarely eat breakfast. I’m not hungry until about 11:30 anyway, so why force food into my face when I’m usually behind schedule anyway? No, skipping breakfast doesn’t slow down your metabolism when you’re like me, which is “kinda fat.” So shut up.
Lift Some Heavy Shit: No, not my ass off the couch, ha ha, so funny I forgot to laugh. I finally have found the joy of proper squat technique, dumbbell deadlifts, and pushing heavy stuff around. I did circuits for a while and looked good but wasn’t very muscular for a dude walking around over 240. For cardio I like either HIIT on an elliptical, hill sprints, or road raging.
Sleep More: I seriously have to get to bed earlier. 11:17pm ain’t cuttin’ it.
Stop worrying about it: I need to chill out a bit on this. I know what I need to do, so now I just need the consistency of doing it. This isn’t a diet, this is a lifestyle.
Stay Motivated As All Hell: Not sure what I need to get super motivated, like whatever blind self-allegiance Guy Fieri has that keeps him from assessing his life. I need that. Maybe it’s seeing 4 of 6 abs. Maybe it’s being under 12% bodyfat for the first time since kindergarten. Maybe it’s just that I need to prove to myself that I can do this. The ultimate goal is to drop 35lbs by April 2014. Mostly, I need to do this for a better quality of life in a few years as my boys get older. They aren’t going to do LESS in life from here on out.

So I’ll post some stuff here in the “20 by 40” posts about what’s up with my bod and how it’s going. May even get some “BEFORE” and “LATER” pics if I’m feeling froggy. Sorry, this was kinda boring and self-indulgent, got low blood-sugar, gotta find some work cake.

I’m in a weird phase now, having joined a gym and going enough to see results, but not so much as to burn out on the people who go there. The personalities of gym-goers range from “Aggressively Spray-tanned Wide-Backed Renter” to “Scrumptious Bootypacked Stairstepper” to “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?” to “Keepin’ Sleek at 60.” We all go for different reasons, but the underlying goal is to ultimately beat The Reaper at his own game.

I guess that means killing yourself trying to stay healthy?

Anyway… thanks to some information that piqued my sensors (maybe the 2nd time ever using the word “pique”) from a great site I found, BuffDaddio.com, I started a new lifting protocol. Mike Mentzer’s HIT (High Intensity Training) simplifies all the Sets x Reps x (WeightLifted*DistanceMoved/TimeUnderTension) + Time Staring At Self In Mirror maze of crapola people wade through. Mentzer’s workouts are all about applying a mindset of FOCUSED INTENSITY for a short period of time to properly perform basic muscle-busting movements. You squat 255 perfectly, slowly, for 8 reps and you’ll do more for your body than the guy busting out 315 with bad form and 15 half-reps. Keep it simple, keep it short, keep it moving.

I love lifting again. I’m not as strong as I was 8 years ago when I was in a gym every day pretty much. But I’m getting there. And I’ve accepted that I don’t NEED to toss iron the way I did when I was in college, throwing shot-put, or trying to attract girls with daddy issues. I basically want to drop about 50lbs before next June and see 4 of my abs and have some specific measurements. How does this all come together? I HAVE ADD, SO BEAR WITH ME.

Here’s what I’ve found to be the basic principles of the most-loved and “realistic” fitness regimens. Bodybuilder, athlete, fat-burner, carb lover, busy dad, busier mom, weight-dropping project manager… these are for all of us.

What you eat is about 80% of your success. If you eat really cleanly (lean protein, moderate fat, lots of veggies and fruit, low sugar and carbs), your body gets its energy from your stored bodyfat, which you have (sorry you had to find out here).
Eat Protein. It repairs your muscles and takes energy to metabolize. Eat Fat. It makes you feel full and happy and your brain will love you for it. Eat veggies and fruit. Vitamin and antioxidants are all up in those. If you GOTTA HAVE A COOKIE AND PIE AND ICE CREAM, have a little bit of each, once a week. Then get right the hell back to the good stuff.
If you’re gonna lift, lift pretty heavy, and keep the workout short. Short rests between sets. Compound exercises are best, like deadlifts, squats, presses, and rows. Start with those, then do your 20lb kickbacks in the Zumba room.
If you’re gonna do cardio, DO CARDIO. Get your heart POUNDING, not pumping. Do some HIIT work. Warm up for a few minutes, get loose. Then run/row/pedal/elliptical about 90% effort for 15seconds, higher tension or speed or incline. Then ratchet it down for 45seconds, like you’re on a stroll. Repeat that cycle about 8-10 times. Cool down a few minutes. Boom. 15min of cardio twice a week, and your fat’ll be burning.
Move a little bit every day. Walk around, stretch, be purposely active. Especially if you’re sore.
Get as much sleep as you can. It helps your hormones regulate, weightloss, recovery, and you’re not a complete turd to be around.
Quit stressin’. Life’s too short. Exercise to live better and healthier. If you put in 3 hours of exercise a week, that’s 156 hours a year, or about 6.5 days each year. If those 6.5 days/year meant that you had another 12 months of great health later in life, would you trade that time in?

6.5 days of effort = 365 more days of health, love, family, and friends?

Yeah, I’ll take that trade. Still gonna work to see my gawddamn abs.

To your health!

Tag: HIIT

Work It Out – Simplifying The Basics

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