20 by 40 – Part 1- Planning

So I’m like 3 months away from my 40th birthday, and I have a particular goal of dropping 20 el-beez.  LB’s.  Pounds.  Lard Bricks.  I wanna drop ’em by the Friday prior to the Super Bowl.  I know I can do this, but I’m also stumped about how my droppage seems to have stalled.  Admittedly, the past weekend of Halloween and eating like a foraging bear (candy, date night, pizza party and cake for the youngest’s birthday) didn’t help.  I put on 3lbs since last Thursday morning.  3.  It’s probably retained water and frankly I could feel it and my face looked it.  So if my body will store it that easily, it can lose it that easily.

So what’m I gonna do?  Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of violent minds meeting great opposition to mediocre dreams ~ Oprah Lincoln. Or whomever said it, people mash-up and misquote so many Faux-tivational quotes these days, even with the internet to validate against.  Ridiculous.  I have a dream that one day we will not be judged by the choosing of our quotes but by the accuracy of their citation.

So my plan is as follows:

  1. Eat less crap: I need to be strict with my intake.  Depending on which expert you ask, nutrition is 80% of the success towards weightloss.  Some say 70%.  I’ll gun for 76.47% and see where that lands.  I can’t afford a “cheat day,” so maybe, MAYBE, one cheat “thing” a week.  But not 1 crap-pile a day for 3 days.  Come on, dude… Come on…
    You can eat like this if you are THE ROCK. Or turn your heart into A ROCK.

    You can eat like this if you are THE ROCK. Or turn your heart into A ROCK.

    It’s hilarious the games we play with ourselves about crap eating.  “Oh just a little isn’t gonna be a problem.”  Right.  Put a cake out at your workplace and sit by it.  Nobody will touch it, no matter how many people come by.  Now walk around the corner, and hear the woodchipper that is your coworkers scraping the last of the buttercream off the lid.  Do right by you, but no games, Geoff.

  2. Eat more boss:  My ideal meal is about like this: Roasted salmon with broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, sweet potatoes. And then right to bed.  I need to get away from food, and in the house the best place to get away from food is when I’m asleep.  So, eat well, then stop eating.  I like the Paleo path best, and I rarely eat breakfast.  I’m not hungry until about 11:30 anyway, so why force food into my face when I’m usually behind schedule anyway?  No, skipping breakfast doesn’t slow down your metabolism when you’re like me, which is “kinda fat.”  So shut up.
  3. Lift Some Heavy Shit: No, not my ass off the couch, ha ha, so funny I forgot to laugh.  I finally have found the joy of proper squat technique, dumbbell deadlifts, and pushing heavy stuff around.  I did circuits for a while and looked good but wasn’t very muscular for a dude walking around over 240.  For cardio I like either HIIT on an elliptical, hill sprints, or road raging.
  4. Sleep More:  I seriously have to get to bed earlier.  11:17pm ain’t cuttin’ it.
  5. Stop worrying about it: I need to chill out a bit on this.  I know what I need to do, so now I just need the consistency of doing it.  This isn’t a diet, this is a lifestyle.
  6. Stay Motivated As All Hell:  Not sure what I need to get super motivated, like whatever blind self-allegiance Guy Fieri has that keeps him from assessing his life.  I need that.  Maybe it’s seeing 4 of 6 abs.  Maybe it’s being under 12% bodyfat for the first time since kindergarten.  Maybe it’s just that I need to prove to myself that I can do this.  The ultimate goal is to drop 35lbs by April 2014.  Mostly, I need to do this for a better quality of life in a few years as my boys get older.  They aren’t going to do LESS in life from here on out.

So I’ll post some stuff here in the “20 by 40” posts about what’s up with my bod and how it’s going.  May even get some “BEFORE” and “LATER” pics if I’m feeling froggy.  Sorry, this was kinda boring and self-indulgent, got low blood-sugar, gotta find some work cake.

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About Geoff Lott

Geoff Lott is a "thinking person's comedian" as much as a "drinking person's comedian." Born and raised near Seattle, his writing and comedy is Cloudy with a Chance of Hope. Less offensive than your average nightly news program, Geoff is opinionated with intent, and a rebel without a clause. A comedian, actor, dad, husband, co-worker, weirdo, and great friend, Geoff Lott has a sense of humor like a sommelier's sense of smell; aged well, with a hint of dark chocolate, Irish whiskey, and leather. Credits and press kit available upon request!
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One Response to 20 by 40 – Part 1- Planning

  1. The Turkish says:

    Get that first week under your belt (har har) and the rest will be downhill.
    “A trip of a thousand miles begins with one step” – Lester Maddox

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