Tag: Politics

Political Theatre – This Isn’t “Hamilton”

This week America will witness the second impeachment trial of Donald J. Trump, a malignant, delusional wanna-be dictator and elite-level, flaming-pants liar. I’m only somewhat stunned that the Republicans in Congress haven’t come out against him in hopes of righting the listing frigate that was once the pride of Judeo-Suburban America. I grew up in a conservative house that attended church a LOT, and the Regan era was spoken of in tones of reverance in a manner I can best describe as “brainwashed.” I see it again with people I know to vote, lean, or finger-point as Republicans.

While the GOP’ers will cry “foul,” and say that you cannot impeach a President after they are out of office – and are going to keep screeching that this is all “Political Theater” to punish the Trump legacy (yeah, no shit, that’s the reason you indict and pursue people for inciting riots and insurrections that result in the deaths of 5 citizens) – those who speak out publicly FOR the impeachment from the Red side of the aisle are the bravest in the room. They have a bigger vision of what the Republican Party could be, a new messaging and re-branding with a cleaner identity than the hilariously misguided, easily-duped, Confounded-by-Consequence Honkeys (PIPE BOMBS, folks) who chant their own mottos but vote Republican out of a moral conviction to screw over an imaginary, darker-skinned person.

Trump’s rise to popularity, and the subsequent rise to power, led to some exposure of America’s fault lines of tectonic bigotry. He bobbed to the top of a movement of faux-psychology around the “demasculinization” of The American Male. I have a bit in my comedy act about how, if anybody were to try and storm the cockpit of an airplane, there are a lot of guys on there who would relish the chance to live out their bloodsoaked Rambo fantasy. Odds are, without a gun in their hand, 99% of men with this idea wouldn’t budge from their seat. And it’s that same mentality that has led to…

“this study pinpoints a more powerful influence: how much people buy into the idea that men are dominant, tougher, more powerful, or high-status than other people.”

My opinion is (worthless but I think) that Republican Senators value their seats in office more than upholding the Constitution. They’ll use word salads and mental gymnastics to state why the former and worst-ever President can’t be impeached having left office. So the GOP’ers will sit on another one and wait around for the next election cycle while collecting paychecks for having done little to nothing to help their voters. Instead of taking time to divest themselves from a malignant presence and re-think their messaging and platform it’s easier to just point at Democrats as being on an expensive witch hunt to destroy the legacy of Donald J. Trump. I would say it’s a great reminder of how close America is to getting its Reset button pushed. Until then, grab your popcorn and vote like it matters.

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A Theory On Conspiracies

I don’t fully accept that every crowd-involved moment in society is merely an act of nature’s will, moving us in the direction a Critical Mass event dictates.  We don’t get swept up in a riot, we get into the crowd we KNOW will riot, and do nothing to get out.  Nor do I fully believe that socially-impacting events (like Egypt’s tragic killings, the Boston Marathon bombing, or the Teen Choice Awards) are engineered, or even have their proverbial balls started a-rolling, by some cabal, klatsch, triumvirate, or shadow improv troupe.  America’s ability to gather and gung-ho for a cause is incredible, but we’d like to leave the tear gas and face-shooting to the thugs.

What I do believe is that much of what human societies react to are Fear, Oppression, Despair, and Threat.  When I hear gun-nuts (and I’m not talking gun owners, I’m talking bottom-rung Doomsday Preppers with half-finished escape tunnels in their garage) bemoan gun control, I want to remind them that if a military force DOES decide to come for those guns, they will in fact wrest it from those cold, dead, dirty, masturbating hands.  And that those hands will be deadened by either a sniper’s bullet or a drone strike, not by a 19 year-old Pfc knocking at the trailer door.  So when a threat is made evident, and fear washes in, and violence results, I believe there are groups who take a very keen interest in seeing the nature of the ripples in the pond.  A conspiracy theorist I know, who is also a great guy but totally and understandably anti-social (not asocial, he’s truly anti-American-society after his brother’s war-ravaged mind left him suicidal and addicted to drugs, and a few divorces) once told me why he believes that a cabal’s puppet-strings can be found in the periphery of such moments.

His theory is that the groups are always experimenting not only with what drives humans, and groups of humans, to rebel or react, but HOW they do it, the success rate, and if it’s conceptually transferable to a military act FOR the people.  That is, how can a military application come from crowd-sourced videos and tips from the Boston Marathon bombing, wherein cell phones and street cameras and TV footage and facial recognition software helped identify the suspects?  That seems to also allow for people to either take the military side to happily send images for review, or a conspiratorial air of wondering who among us is spying within? Big Brother is watching Step Brother watching Little Brother…

A woman recently walked in to a local grocery store and caused a full evacuation and bomb squad involvement.  She’s getting a mental evaluation. Her backpack was void of anything harmful.  19 years old… Hmmmm….  Did she think this up herself, to gain attention and power?  Did somebody pay her to walk in and do this to see what happens?  Where is she now?  This is worth following.

Somebody keeps taking nips off my Half-&-Half in the work fridge, so I’ll have to lace it with something to see who passes out or powerdumps at their desk.  I want to believe, that people are good, but man, sometimes people just really let ya down.  And I wonder what it would take for Americans, tax-hating, vacation-paid, partial-benefits-loving Americans to fill the streets with shouts and raised fists.  So far it’s just WTO and pro-sports championships. 

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I Will Maim Teenagers Drinking At Playgrounds

To The F*ckstain Who Smashed Beer Bottles at the Kid’s Playground:

You must be a teenager or somebody else with a very minimal view of the world. You cannot possibly be a good human being at this point in your life, but it will get better if you decide it will.  Until then, you are the reason there are cameras popping up at every street corner and playground.  Big Brother ain’t watching, YOUR BROTHER is watching.  And I’m pissed.

I did plenty of dumb stuff when I was young (as recently as last week in fact).  Fine.  Happy?  Good.  But the fact that you drained a couple Coors Lights, in BOTTLES I might add, which means you have no idea how to properly drain the Silver Bullets, is only the beginning of your idiocy. These are probably your step-dad’s garage beers, or something left behind from a July 4th BBQ your mom threw up after.  This isn’t an adult’s beer, a discerning man’s beer of choice.  Then, as if drinking the last of it, probably with a blossoming young lady who thinks you “bad” or “dangerous” because she doesn’t yet understand Life, as if the last sip was a 3-yard dive for a winning touchdown… you spike the bottle into the cement, shattering it.  Shards left behind in the high-traffic area of an elementary school playground. 

And you blue-ball it all the way home, smug and buzzed on watery beer and Axe bodyspray.  We’re watching.  We’re carrying stun-guns.
And dustpans. 
Decide right now which you’d rather have.

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