Tag: Reviews

Plumber’s Crack

In the renovation of a small condominium (Latin, from Con + Dom + Inium, meaning “a small place to be uncomfortably screwed.”) in preparation for selling it (PLEASE, SEATTLE HOUSING GODS, HANG IN THERE WHILE WE SACRIFICE THIS CAN OF KELLY MOORE EGGSHELL MOON-GRAY PAINT UNTO THEE)… we had to hire a plumber service to hook-up/disconnect some kitchen work for us. Just an absolute mental clusterfist of a group, AA Plumbing & Drain. You know when somebody’s full of shit when you ask them about an item you need clarification on, and they just talk and talk and talk about everything EXCEPT the issue.

I don’t know if anybody’s going to give a clogged can about this, but here’s what I want to share.

GET YOUR BIDS IN WRITING. We had a verbal bid of $500 to $700. Final bill was almost $1000. After checking the reviews online, this looks like what this company does. Verbal Bid, Actual over-bill. So if the model is to come in way over the bid, just up your bid so you don’t have blowback when people ask why you’re way TF over your original bid. Makes  you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, outside of causing issues.

I know “shit happens,” in work and business. Time runs short, overruns on materials, etc. But when you overbill by $100, and add a guy to stand around and watch you swear for another $100, that’s shit you’re causing, not the happening of the shit.

I get why people have issues with the repair and trade industries. I’ve had contractors demo a bathroom and try to bilk a couple extra hundred out of me, likely due to a gambling problem. Once had a team do great work except for one of them stealing a $500 watch on their last day. This distrust is one reason why people go the DIY route, but all the same, there’s a point when you’re suddenly watching a shell-game happen. When somebody answers your concise question with a drawn-out response riddled with unrelated details (we have good reviews!, a high satisfaction rating!, my socks match!), you’re getting the run-around.

I’m already resigned that we won’t be getting any money back on an overbilling issue. But I’ve also included their integrity as part of the equation. I have moments where I miss integrity, I’m sure. So maybe it’s a karmic back-up throwing some shit my way. At least I know who not to call. I’ll handle this myself.

 

 

0

The Hairs Of My Chinny-Chin-Chin and neck and shoulders sometimes

Guys… seriously….

Dollar Shave Club.
I know, I reviewed razors before.  I did that before I knew of Dollar Shave Club.

I got signed up this year as part of my Father’s Day Gift Bag, which included some DSC’s “Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter“ (it’s not butter, it’s better, it’s boss), and some “One Wipe Charlies,” the Butt-wipe For Men (it’s a butt-wipe, it’s better than a hand towel).  I am set up for the cut-down of my face hair.  Hell, I’ll go  to the back of my neck and shoulder area, probably even my fundercarriage with this blade sitch.

THESE BLADES DON’T CARE WHERE THE HAIR STARTED, IT’S ABOUT TO BE DEPARTED (just came up with that COPYRIGHT TRADEMARK HASHTAGMAKINGMONEY)

Using “The Executive” blade (6 of ’em!) I’ve found shaving to be a somewhat sublime experience.  For $9 a month (compared to the $15 most Luxurious Blades go for at your drug’s store sans coupon) I get 4 blades.  Auto-sent and auto-billed, and YES, you can ratchet-back the frequency if you’re like me and don’t shave every day because you’re almost 40 and wanna show the world you’ve got Edge, man, you’ve got moxie!

And it’s smoooth.  The blades + butter confluence produces an easy-glide hair removal process so easy I’m almost convinced I’m doing it wrong.  But I’m NOT.
So, YES, get your facial hair under a slather of Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter, buy-load-and-go with the blade of your choice, and when you’re done horsing-out a stillborn food-baby, go dry-wipe, ONE WIPE CHARLIE, dry-wipe and get on with your day.

Also, give ’em your business because they have fantastically funny promotional videos.

Shit, Butt-shower, Shave;  DOLLAR SHAVE CLUB

(Dollar Shave Club has not and probably will not pay me for this critique, but I’m still using their products any way I see fit on my face, shoulders and fundle)

0

Thomas The Tank Engine; Very Useful Engine, Kind of an Asshole

There is a toddler-sized unmitigated reverence for Rev. Awdry’s Thomas The Tank Engine stories in our home.  Plenty of books.  Easily 20 lineal feet of Thomas-related branded woodwork, between the train table, table top, and $12-$20 wooden trains co-habitating the living room.  Most of these things have been gifted to us for Junior Mayor, Graham, who is OBSESSED with Thomas and all things Thomas.  His knowledge of the various trains and their personalities isn’t far off from my professional wrestling obsessions from 1981-1991.  James is his Ric Flair.  Spencer is Hulk Hogan.  Hiro is Ivan Putski.  And Thomas, the main character, is a little shit.  And now that everyone knows how important he is to our oldest son, we are nearing Thomas overload.

Thomas The Tank Engine; Punkass Twit

Sure, the guy looks innocent.  He’s blue, like between Royal and Sky.  Unthreatening in appearance, the best I can tell, he’s either gutsy or train-tarded.  Perhaps there’s no sense of responsibility or accountability to his other trains, nor to his “boss,” Sir Topham Hatt.  But let’s ease into it.

First, Sir Topham Hatt is apparently a Knight?  If you can run a rail system the way his runs itself – best I can tell, the trains ar making the Go/No-Go calls on most of their weird-ass adventures – and still receive Knighthood, the Island of Sodor is under the reign of a Monarchy rivaling the international influence malaria.  His engines should all be programmed to work.  But eventually, all of them turn to the worst of what should be HUMAN traits and then, oh yeah… discipline.  Or not.  I can’t believe we’ve gone 70 years and not a SINGLE engine was dismantled or forced to pull the open tanker of PortaPotty pumpings, just to send the other engines a message.  This Hatt character’s soft.  Top-down enabling.  Horse shit.

Here’s an example of a typical story.
Thomas is supposed to go to Brendam Docks to pick up a Special.  This means Percy and James need to take over shunting for Thomas until he gets back.  They don’t like it.  Thomas should get the Special, take it Maithwaite, then return right away.  Percy and James are now JEALOUS.  Thomas of course will just get his Special, drop it off, and chuff right on back, right?

NOPE.  Because he reasons that Percy and James have it covered, so he takes a few detours, shows off his Special, which is probably a statue of Topham’s Dowager mom or some waste of funds, then returns waaaaay late.  Meanwhile, James and Percy are in a rhythm, but angry, so they aren’t seeing the value in teamwork, camaraderie, and that self-awareness means life-awareness which means accepting that sometimes you’re not the Special one.

OH LOOK WHO IS BEING PUSHED BY A TRAIN
OH LOOK WHO IS BEING PUSHED BY A REAL TRAIN!

Thomas is still out buzzing around, getting the statue to the station late.  His dressing-down consists of being told to not let it happen again.  He hears this at least twice a week, if not daily.

So we have a narcissistic, co-dependent, sociopathic, anthropomorphic train warring away with the Diesel engines (racism?  xenophobia?), selling replicas of himself and friends for over $10 a pop.  Topham Hatt’s pimping them out, reaping the rewards.  Were Thomas a Crane Operator or Bike Messenger, nary an eye would watch, and we’d abhor his behavior.  Then, every Summer, there’s the chance to meet a train decorated as Thomas (I’m betting it’s not free) but it won’t talk, so then I gotta have THAT discussion about lies and marketing.  The weaning has begun.

 

Thomas can kiss my ass.

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started