The Energy Vampires Arise

Energy Vampires are people who leave you exhausted after you spend time with them.  I have a few in my life, some at work and some in regular world life.  The work EVs are the worst.  They don’t realize what they’re doing.  They can’t stop talking about things they have either ALL the knowledge about and steer conversations to those areas, or they have no idea what’s going on and spew opinions that are counter to what common sense and decency dictate (Election Season!).  They are in a constant state of near-panic, yet when somebody suggests that we’re going to get the work done and it’s no reason to freak out, OH WELL WHO IS FREAKING OUT I’M NOT FREAKING OUT AND IF I WAS FREAKING OUT I WONDER WHY YOU GUYS AREN’T FREAKING OUT…

Point, proven.
That shit gets old, fast. It starts off “weird” and tails off to “annoyingly tiring.” And usually, the EV’s – much like regular vampires – don’t see their reflection and so, can’t change it. They find any reason they can to turn up the tension, though it’s usually whatever’s going on within manifesting outwardly.  I was once stuck in a 30min car ride with one… 30 MINUTES… and it resolved itself soon after a 4-hour period of brisk walking and green tea.

I’ve had two pop up recently.  One at work, one in my personal life.  I’m positive I have been, and will probably be in the future, a bit of/an EV.  I can be a handful of weirdness if I ain’t slept much and get hungry.  I’m human and I would bet a bag of O-neg that I’ll have my own version of “Twilight” happening before Inauguration Day.

This blog, MindBodyGreen, has a great reference of EV’s, listing the various types… Anybody look familiar on here?

“Energy vampires can be your family, friends, clients, colleagues, teachers, neighbors, lovers, or even strangers. And they come in all types…
  • There is the blamer, who lays blame on everyone else without ever taking any responsibility. (Narcissists are some of the old-blood EV’s)
  • The guilt trippers use shame to get what they want. 
  • Jealous bees can never genuinely feel happiness for anyone else. 
  • Then there are the insecure ones, who pull others down to their level of low self-esteem. 
  • The fun haters seem unable to embrace joy. The bullies stomp on the little guys to elevate their egos.
  •  The Debbie downers, the whiners, the short-tempers, the gossipers, the drama queens, and the list goes on…”

I don’t have any real advice that isn’t covered in that blog, so if you’re vexed by such sucking of energy please visit that.  I have a few that I’m keeping an ear and eyes open for, psychological garlic in hand.  Stay strong out there.  Stay out of the shadows.

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About Geoff Lott

Geoff Lott is a "thinking person's comedian" as much as a "drinking person's comedian." Born and raised near Seattle, his writing and comedy is Cloudy with a Chance of Hope. Less offensive than your average nightly news program, Geoff is opinionated with intent, and a rebel without a clause. A comedian, actor, dad, husband, co-worker, weirdo, and great friend, Geoff Lott has a sense of humor like a sommelier's sense of smell; aged well, with a hint of dark chocolate, Irish whiskey, and leather. Credits and press kit available upon request!
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