A Team Of One Voice

The past year, as of today pretty much, was one of some low-grade tumult – I use that word rarely because I’m not sure I know when it applies – and a fair amount of stress. I work as a software development manager, project manager, and roles that fall into those categories. I have been doing that for about 15 years, and study best practices of doing that a lot. It’s far more about The People than The Product. But a year ago that Product was put on-hold.

Long story-short, I was among a large group of people laid off due to the impact of COVID-19 on The Economy. We didn’t know what was gonna happen around this place, and a lot of companies had to look as far ahead as they could. So that meant, for some of them, cuts were necessary.

I was among those who were cut. It sucked. I was restless and agitated like a guy who wanted to not be laid off from a company he truly loved working for. But I understood the path they had to take, and I was also one of newer employees, less than 6 months on the job there, so it made sense in a lot of ways. So I did what a lot of people do in that situation; I thought applying to a lot of jobs would help!

Well it did, sorta. For months, no bites. Nothing. I slowly expanded my job searches to include skills within my role, and that did help the opportunities open up a bit. But again, for many months, not a lot of companies were hiring. The most-secure, well-positioned places were actively interviewing and probably bringing people along. I applied for more than 100 jobs, had over 40 interviews, and one company’s interview methods stood out. I won’t mention their name, because I’d still like to work for them, but this was peculiar…

Why bring it up? Because something was up with the whole deal.
There were multiple rounds of job-related conversations, different teams of peers, inter-departmental leads, and recruiters. Everything went really well, I thought, but there’s only so much you can glean from some people’s reactions. They wanted me to talk to a variety of people so that they could make a “team decision,” and this can be a struggle for someone who loves to talk about anything except themselves. Ugh. BO-RING.

After 4 rounds and about 6 hours of discussions, the lead recruiter called me. They all really liked me, thought I could do the job, but were passing because one of the 7 people I talked to wasn’t sure I had enough experience working with a particular workstream. But I was in the system and it might come around later. FFFFFffffart…

Hmm… It was the old Catch-22 of “not enough experience, and not gonna get it here.” Okay, been there before. So one of seven people thought it was an issue. Okay… It bothered me because either it was not a team decision, or the recruiter was protecting my feelings and I had mega-shat the interview process. I always ask for feedback from interviews so I can sharpen up particular areas. His only feedback was that I had provided some answers they hadn’t considered before, liked my personality, but yeah, just that one person and that one thing…

Either “that one thing” carried much more weight than the other areas, or they weren’t sure how to tell me just straight-up “Nope.” But after meeting with all the teams, I figured it’s more the latter. If it’s a team decision, one voice shouldn’t swing it that far.

Eventually I did get contacted by a company I had previously worked for, so I knew What and How They Did What They Do. One hour, 3 people, and 24 hours later I had an offer. I was in the middle of talking with 2 other firms who wanted to schedule me with 6 other people and 4 more interviews, and after a while, from the side of a candidate, it all seems like a pageantry of Importance within the company.

So I’m back and working and have a all new tumult to emotionally intelligence.

March 31, 2021 0

Summer Camp: Money, Well… Spent

As a parent, I’m far beyond ready for the kids to go back to school. This is ridiculous. The only people happy about these extended breaks are teachers (whom I respect and support) and Summer Camp Counselors (who usually are teens just killing time for $12/hr and it shows). Everyone else who loves it are either over-joyed, under-lied Youth Pastors or childless couples with tons of vacation time to burn.

This Summer has been the campiest, busiest one we’ve had in a while, for unconventional reasons. My wife has gone back in school to finish a degree in Interior Design, and she’s getting A’s! The earlier classes she’s been in are hands-on art-heavy classes, and as the self-labeled “creative one” in the family, I’m waaaay behind her and my older son’s art work this Summer. I think I might have come up with a new joke about my car looking like a crime scene, but overall it’s been a fallow Summer for me.

Busy-ness-wise, we’ve played more mini-golf than usual, which I love. I love putt-putt! GUILTY QUEEEEEEN! Or whatever people say to be “whatever” about stuff. My kids are about to wrap up their 3rd Summer camp of the season, and then we’re done. Over $2K spent for 3 weeks of the following experiences:

Mini-golf – playing on 3 courses in 4 days, so they doubled-up, half-day camp
Soccer – skills were at the lowest skill-level of campers, so we didn’t really get better, half-day camp
Piano – they learned a few scales and such but overall didn’t learn much, half-day camp
Flag football – both kids played on championship-level teams in the Spring so this was NOT a camp of “betterment” and some other issues I’ll address in a sec, half-day camp
Flag football/Soccer/Baseball camp – This is the final week happening right now. So far I’ve heard they have to hit off a tee, haven’t run any particular plays, and haven’t worked on any soccer skills. All day in the heat and they’re looking rough.

So what’s the gripe? I’d like to know that when they go to camps that they come home with some skills other than “finding which kids have untethered ADHD” and “not being that impressed with the camp.” I can’t blame them; these are all run through local churchy organizations or sporty spots, but nothing super-focused on THE ELITE LEVEL OF CONDITIONING YOUR ELEMENTARY AGE CHILDREN! But for the love of laziness, some of these camps aren’t even trying.

I know this is a very “white” complaint, believe me. I try to not throw the “guilt-quilt” over any of the kids’ experiences – “Well, I never got to do cool Learn To Cast Spells camps when I was a kid because my parents were lazy asses” – because it’s not their fault if the camp isn’t killing it. If nothing else, they’re getting a lot of exercise, plenty of bath time at night, and they’ve been crashing hard at night. But I get that they don’t love Summer Camp. There are others we tried to get into, turns out those suck, too.

Our friends sent their kids to a week-long NERF Battle Camp, with blasters and swords and such. I hosted a birthday party like this once and it was a shitfire. Everyone getting shot in the face or up-close, darts to the junk, total chaos. And that camp report was “Lame. There was only one day of Capture The Flag.” I hear ya. Every day of life is capturing flags, young ‘in.

When I was 10, I went to this ridiculous horse riding/pool/craft camp for 3 of the 5 days I was supposed to. On day 3, one of the counselors – a guy in his mid-30’s with a cigarette behind his ear and severely receding hairline – called me “fatso” on front of the whole camp, and I was like “F*ck this guy.” If you’re trashing the kids of the parents who pay for what’s probably your work-release program, there’s not a lot else I can do at 10 to thrash your day-to-day. Not sure what happened to that guy. I’m sure the police were involved.

But sending kids to camp puts them in somewhat unfamiliar situations, which you can help them grow in to working at. Learning to adapt and go with the flow in a different place is about 50% of life’s requirement of success. The others include being attractive and having some sort of water craft. When I hear parents say they have “nothing” planned for their kid’s Summer, I’m astounded, if they aren’t traveling a lot. Or if the kid’s secretly a SuperHero. But I doubt the kid’s saving lives and stopping MegaVillains when they keep putting their shoes on the wrong feet and pinching their ween instead of just going to the restroom. Leaving a kid to do “nothing” during the Summer is just lazy. I understand there are financial barriers for some families. If there aren’t, a kid at home all Summer is basically just a dormant seed waiting to bloom into the same flower that left school in June.

At least put a golf club in their cheese-powdered hands for a week, get some putting work in.

August 15, 2019 0

Carry-On Luggage

It’s been forever since I wrote anything. I have lacked energy, motivation, insight, and probably time to do so. But honestly, I have the time, I just burn it doing unproductive crap like working or yard work. Or phone-scrolling like a laboratory crack-monkey. The motivation has been there, sometimes, but I’m not feeling too inspired lately. Then I read something, I think it was Carl Jung’s quote… (hey, Geoff, an easy way to confirm that is go to on the internet and see if this is true…)

“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.”

I have plenty of work to do, but man, Jung was a pretty deep dude.

His insight into the duality of human existence, of overcoming our greatest fears or darkest corners by admitting them and confronting them, led me to a lot of introspection in my 20’s. In my late-20’s, I had what was probably close to what they call a “quarter-life crisis.” Did a lot of therapy at that time, a lot of looking way back to my childhood to understand why I was in a cycle of friendships and relationships that stagnated. The only constant in those scenarios was Me, so however it played out, I had the same role every time. It was a great step forward to gain understanding of my own behavioral drives.

“His retreat into himself is not a final renunciation of the world, but a search for quietude, where alone it is possible for him to make his contribution to the life of the community.”

Fast-forward to 2019. Recently spent a fair amount of time with some people who, frankly, are carrying a lot of old shit around. And not just carrying it, but leaning it onto other people, unconsciously, because that’s what they have to offer. I don’t think it’s malicious, their leaning. There’s no reflection of whether or not it’s beneficial to carry it, and thus, no wondering if it helps to blurt out their “take” on a situation. Because some of the stuff I saw and heard was straight-up bullshit, bigoted, short-sighted, and/or stupid.

“I have always been impressed by the fact that there are a surprising number of individuals who never use their minds if they can avoid it, and an equal number who do use their minds, but in an amazingly stupid way.”

When I was 10 or 11, I had a great interest in biology and how animals were created and grew. I wondered how 2 kids from the same parents could look vastly different. I loved animals. I told my mom I thought it would be cool to be a veterinarian some day. She asked me…

“Do you think if someone brought you a sick animal that you could put it to sleep?”

So in this conversation about something not happening, in theory, for 20 years, I have to handle the hardest part of the work before I ever start? Whatever place of reality that came from, it wasn’t encouraging. I’m not a veterinarian. I didn’t share much with my mom about my hopes after that. Subconsciously I didn’t see trust there.

“We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become.”

Recently we’ve been working a lot on the Growth Mindset with our kids, and the teams I coach. It’s more about understanding that putting in effort leads to success, mistakes are OK but quitting is not, and taking time daily to reflect on what went well, and what we can change. This doesn’t mean we eschew dwelling in reality so that we never feel bad or think we screwed up, cranking Disney soundtracks and polishing our participation trophies. It means we focus on what’s working, praise the effort that went it a good outcome, and admit that we can get better.

So when I’m around negativity, which for some people is a default selection in their menu – to find fault everywhere and constantly express how people around them would be happier if they’d just listen to advice – I quickly tire of that cycle. I see a person who is insecure and needs validation. I see a person who is hurt and can’t or won’t heal. I see someone who needs to be listened to, but can’t ask for help. There’s a part of all of us that is flawed, imperfect, mottled, cracked, or dark. It’s a part we’re not all happy with, and most of us would never allow the world to see it. But it’s part of being Human. I’m a wreck sometimes, the way my brain processes the smallest issues while accepting horrible events.

“The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.”

There are times when these people would steer conversations towards things they knew a lot about. Which is fine. But not everyone knows a lot about, let’s say, the compression ratios of indirect injection in diesel engines (it ranges from 18:1 to 24:1, but you go lower and you’re gonna bonk it out). And it’s not a lively discussion when one person has to talk about that for a long time after being told what’s-what about tariffs with China and how that impacts American spending from across the dinner table. And then they point out “Geoff’s tuned out, he doesn’t know shit about diesel engines.” True on both accounts.

There were a few times when, having pointed out, quietly, that what I was hearing from these people – complaints about how other people did their job, how other people spent their money, how other people lived their lives (even though it had zero outward impact) – was just dead-weight negatives, I was told to “not make a thing of it.” I wasn’t making a thing of it, but I’m not going to NOT put up a boundary on my good time. Life is far too short. Don’t crap in a punchbowl and call me impolite for drinking from my flask. Don’t crap in a punchbowl, period.

“Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life.”

Instead of carrying it all around, everywhere we go, I think it’s far more beneficial to admit we carry some ugly luggage. Start there. We lie to ourselves, tell ourselves things are fine while our ears are bleeding, refuse to admit we have to make a change, etc. And the luggage gets heavier. It takes more strength to put it down and open it up than it does to keep carrying it. Nobody can see it, usually. So it just looks like somebody struggling to get through the day; the baggage is invisible, but the weight of it is evident.

And the closer we are to letting go of that stuff, the more some people get uncomfortable. They don’t understand that dragging it around isn’t part of Life, it’s part of Stagnation and Death. I hope I can keep choosing introspection and reflection over wallowing.

“Every step closer to my soul excites the scornful laughter of my devils, those cowardly ear-whisperers and poison-mixers.”

May 15, 2019 0

Pardon The Interruption

Hey, you’re sitting there typing on a keyboard. I’m gonna jump in and start talking to you because I have like zero ability to judge a situation. Now you’re distracted and my question is confusing. Get out of your car and come look under my hood. Hear that? Yeah. What is that? I don’t know either.

Anyway, if there’s any justice in the universe, I’ll be shitting blood by lunch. OK, cool, I’m gonna get coffee.

June 28, 2018 0

Kids Can Be Jerks

Some kids are just dickheads. It’s amazing to see kids at 10 already being dickheads, but it’s there. When redirecting or reprimanding a kid, the last thing I used to expect was some sort of reply starting with “But we were just…” or “We don’t have to…”

I don’t care what you were “just,” that’s my couch and get your disgusting feet the fuck off of it. You just earned a 6 month ban from my house. Go wait outside for your parents, with your weird eyes.

You do have to, if you don’t want me to tell your parents, and then launch a thinly-veiled campaign against your availability for playdates. I’ll bury your social calendar in the stories of your bullshit backtalk. I’ll propaganda your ass right into a Summer of staring at the walls, you red-headed, sucker-punching, hat-stealing pre-prison ass clown. See you 8 months if you haven’t been transferred to a state-run juggling camp.

Quit being scared of kids. Start slapping consequences on them. Tell them loudly they aren’t being spanked, they’re being excluded from fun. Kill their video games. Win.

May 22, 2018 0

Coaching The Little Stuff

I wrote recently about letting one of my kids quit playing a sport because of how little he enjoyed it, and how that was only being fed by a coach not trying to make it more fun for the players. These are kids. 6-7 year old boys who are naturally hyper and want to move a lot and do the glory stuff in the sport (hitting, catching TDs, driving the lane on Kaidon and dunking on his goofy ass in front of Caitelynne). They don’t like doing the dirty work. But that’s where the professionals excel, the little stuff.

Experts master the little stuff to a point of muscle memory and contextual perfection. It might not look perfect every time, but the golf swing or the jump-shot or the omo plata, it’s all 2nd nature. But it has to start somewhere. And the best way to get kids to get used to doing the little stuff to the point that they pretty much master it is to make it a fun thing to do, and disguise it as a game. Last week, at home, we started a contest to see how many footballs my son could catch, in a row, without dropping one. He got to 21. Then he was kinda burned out on it. So we stopped.

Then we did a little bit yesterday before our flag football game, and he got to tell the team he caught 21 in a row. So now they’re all in to how many times they could catch it. And bingo, we have a drill looking like a game. We won 21-0 with 2 long runs and 1 long pass for TDs. This was a different kid than the one 2 weeks ago who didn’t want to play football because he was scared of messing up.

But in moments of the game, I put my son at Center because he’s the best at snapping, and can catch in a crowd as a taller kid. On our 2nd to last play, I put him at Center to try and get a specific play to throw to him. His face dropped. He broke eye contact. He said he wanted to play Running Back. We have a rule that if you ask to play a position, you won’t play that position. We tell the kids we put them in the places they do the best, and if we want to change it, the coaches have to agree. He called the huddle, snapped the ball, and kind jogged to his spot with his hands up.

After the game, on the way to the car, we had a talk about doing your best no matter where you end up, and how I put him at Center because he is best at starting the play and catching the ball in a crowd. He also got to play Receiver on a reverse that gained 14 yards.

And I started down a path of “You did great today, but…” and “Do you think there was something you could do better next week? I can help you with any skill you want to get even better at.” And it hit me… I’m alluding that he wasn’t trying that hard, and that he needs to be thinking about his performance… in a kid’s flag football game… and how he can improve. I stopped. Instead I told him what I really felt. That I was proud of his big run, of his flagging a kid who tried to spin away, and that he played great in spots he didn’t really want to play.

I was starting to make it “not fun” for him. We won, and I’m still COACHING. Some kids get the fun of a sport from the Competition of it, playing with a fire that is fed when the play starts and comes their way, even at 5 years old and up. Other kids need motivation to stick with it but they flourish in their moments, and that’s really great to see. Some kids are there as a social thing and they like playing with their buddies and that’s enough for them. And that has to be enough for me, too, as their coach, and especially as his dad.

So I told him, later on, that I would play him at Running Back next week if he practiced with me twice this week. And if he would practice twice and do all the games we practice without grumbling, I’d also get him a pack of Pokemon cards.

A BRIBE? No… Incentive. Pro athletes get them in contracts all the time for yards, attending off-season work outs, losing weight, etc.

For a kid who has his dad’s ability to do well at things he feels like doing well at – when the mood strikes him – I am hoping to instill some confidence in his own abilities, and it might take some incentivizing. So why would I do it if it’s “just a kid’s game” and it’s “just for fun”? Because I know what drives him. And it’s gotta be more fun for him, even if he doesn’t become a world-class flag football star, and instead is just an Agent for most of them.

And I needed to practice the little stuff – make it fun, pump up the positives, explain their success, encourage and reward EFFORT – more than twice this week.

May 8, 2017 0

KeySmart Product Review: Sleek, Stylish, Slow

If you don’t have time to get to the meat of this, here’s the final judgment:
Cool little gadget, but I’d rather have my money back. Didn’t gel for me.

I have a few jangly keys in my rotation that I use on a regular basis. The amount of room they took up on the rings, plus a few extraneous membership ID tags from businesses and the county library, caused quite an unsightly, uncomfortable pocket-lump. And I wanted to smooth that issue out as best I could. I got one of those Cool Item Offer Emails-de rigueur one morning and there was a key-taming solution: KeySmart. And it was ON SALE! Thank you, Cookie-logging Data-gathering Online Shopping gods!

So I bought one, the red one, so I could start slimming up my key ring, and come roaring into a world of thinner key configurations and numerous configurations adapatable to my lifestyle! HELL YES. And when it arrived, I was pretty amped. So I got to work on it. I bought the slimmest one because I was determined to narrow down my keys to what I actually use on a daily basis. That’s 4 keys, not including the chipped ignition key for my boss ride (2000 Accord PAID-FOR STRAIGHT CASH WHUUUUT). And no membership cards.

After the first 24 hours of use I thought I had done something wrong. I mean, it’s a gadget, a thing that addresses, but doesn’t necessarily SOLVE, a problem, so maybe I wasn’t in the flow of maximizing this thang.
The keys I needed were tucked neatly away, but nearly inaccessible with one hand (think: carrying bags up to the front door, need to put ’em down). It looked cool, this pocket-knife-like key organizing implement, but, uh… I couldn’t easily access the most-used keys (home, office, cabinets) because, well… they were neatly tucked away in the KeySmart. After a month of use I have gone back to my Middle Earth “ONE RING TO HOLD THEM ALL, AND IN MY POCKET BIND THEM” usage, but at a greatly reduced quantity. The KeySmart is outta the rotation, and maybe I can use it for something else.

PROS: Slim, good look, expandable, accesssories, capacity restricts extraneous key holding.
CONS: Can’t one-hand a key if the end-screws are snug, kinda pricey ($15-$40 for the Titanium model), restrictive return policy (send it back unopened)

June 10, 2015 0

The Gig Files – No Time

Aaaah, the late show. In comedy, it’s either a blessing or a curse and it’s usually 40/60 to the curse. If you’re in a comedy club doing 2 shows a night, the late show on Friday is either very drunk or very underattended. I’ve seen some for comics (Gaffigan, Maron, Benson, Carolla) that are just as packed as others, but usually it’s 30-50 people who are either just out and about, or out and asleep.

No Time 1:
I accepted a good-money gig for a fundraising auction on a Saturday night. Everything was fine except the start time, in comparison to the time we went on-stage. See, if you give people in their 30’s-50’s 3 hours to mingle and drink before they have to sit and do nothing but try and pay attention… after drinking… and eatin’… and spending money… it’s tough stuff on the attention-needers (me).

The group was awesome, don’t get me wrong. They were all very cool people doing a great thing for their community, this time not involving a small-caliber rifle and rodents. So I was happy to be part of it and help out any way I could, which was just to draw a few more in with my comedy skills and local F-list Celebrity status. (F as in “who the Fuck is this guy? He’s Funny, at least.”)

So they have dranks and noshing happening for about 3 hours, and an auction, and the results of the silent auction (Pat & Marty Boudoyn took home the 8-lb chocolate box AGAIN this year, $300), AND the Dessert Dash. AND awarding a scholarship to a local student. AND then it was time for the first comedian, an hour after we were supposed to go on. Why would this suck so hard?

Well, we get paid either way. Regardless, it’s way more fun when the crowd is into the performance. And by then, they were way more into trying to sober up enough to get home before the babysitter went to $20/hr. I understand it. So the 250 people quickly dwindled (walked) to 200 in the first 10min of the show. By the time I went on, I was working with about 80.

And I basically mentioned it as such, really important to fortify the remaining people and give it all ya got to make sure they enjoyed it. It’s a one-off, so I won’t be back next year, but I don’t want to leave anybody thinking they should have left and got more hammered in their garage like they WANTED TO BUT THEIR HUSBAND WOULDN’T LET ‘EM.

So we did the thing and got the money + a little tip which was nice, and a lot of high-fives and hugs on the way out. Not even close to the worst show I ever did. That’s another time.

It’s always a sign of how things went when your closing line is “Thanks so much everybody, I hope you’ve enjoyed watching me fill my contractually obligated time, get home safe!”

The OTHER “No Time” entry is this: I have been doing stand-up comedy for a solid 12 years now. So when I get a text from a booker for a low-$ gig in less that 24 hours with a >100mile round trip, to open for a comic I wouldn’t stick around to watch? Well, I guess I’m beyond being anybody’s booty-call at this point.

Unless Jessica Biel texts me up…

April 23, 2015 0

Death With Dignity, Instead of What Some People Deserve

Brittany Maynard recently ended her life at the age of 29, having battled aggressive brain tumors for years. As the tumors caused greater and more painful moments of being awake, and were found to be inoperable and terminal, Brittany called her own exit. The story has been well chronicled so I won’t cover it again here. However, a few years ago, this topic arose in Washington State, and it set my mind off into many different, somewhat dark regions. Having grievously watched my dad’s slow decline to a shell of a man from 2004-2009 due to dementia, the impact and effects on my family and his friends, I really began to wonder what I would do if my health came to a similar state.

The Death with Dignity act, or “physician-assisted suicide,” is available to people who have a terminal illness, incurable & excruciating pain, or have been talked into it by some family members. There’s a review process after applying to a few doctors, findable via Google and maybe Yelp? The applicant goes through a fair amount of testing to see what’s going on, and to make sure they’re not trying to get out of jury duty. Plus there’s the “less than 6 months to live” criteria. Seems subjective, but whatever…

So in all of this involvement of doctors and pharmacists and party planning and “affairs in order” and what-not, comes two main points I think must be addressed.

Is It Wrong? This is, by nature, a judgmental and personal-ethics statement within each person’s answer. Is choosing your own biological death’s date, based on a terrible illness, via the quiet undertow of a massive barbituate dosing, more acceptable than other forms of ending one’s life? Or is it in the days preceding your passing that keep it on the “light side,” being able to say Goodbye and take care of all the particulars and throw a party and cut the line at Starbucks every morning, Bucket List items and what-not?
What If It Doesn’t Work? You’ve said your “good-byes”, or “go F yourself”‘s, whatever the case called for. Your belongings are accounted for, donated, burned, repurposed, etc. And you gulp down the pills that are going to drop your blood-pressure to NIL, shut down your brain’s ability to fire off your heart muscles, and you’ll drift into the Great Other. Until BAMMO you wake up again barfing all over your Red & Gold Satin Burial robe, wondering why Heaven would welcome home a lost angel in such a horrific fashion, or maybe this isn’t Heaven, OH NO, IT’S WORSE… It’s your living room.
THEN what? I’d have a quick call to the prescribing doctor and see what the deal is. But at least you could start calling friends a few days later and freak them out. Your number comes up on their phone in the middle of their brunch, EEEEEE, creepy for them, FUN FOR YOOOU!

In a time when a fair number of people choose this route I wonder how much Brittany’s beauty played into it. Seriously, a young, beautiful person (by most standards) with a tragic illness chooses to die a few days after her husband’s birthday, and it’s national news for quite a while. What about the 78 year-old with colon cancer and carry-on colostomy bag, where’s their press?

I’m all-for the controlled slide to the Afterlife if your health is failing and you wake up to a painful existence every day. Sure, there might be a cure around the corner. There might be a pharmaceutical lottery win with your name on it. Or a natural cure right in your own back yard that somebody finds the day after you pass. But you should call your own shot if your body is taken over by cancer-caused agony. Can you be a role model of strength and endurance to those around you? For how long? Would you call a “deadline” (ha ha) to it, and if you’re not better by that date, Drop the Beats, DJ, this party’s starting?

In case you can’t go the quiet Rx route, involving doctors and lawmakers and news pundits, give me a call. I have access to a human catapult and some moonshine, we’ll go out like a hero in the parking lot of your workplace. As long as your insurance covers 80%.

November 11, 2014 0

A Mistake Made Is Proof of Production

I made a mistake recently at work… I think…

Not the kind that kills a project or gets anybody fired, but one that certainly led to the most easily-flustered to become flustered, easily. I had spent so much time updating the directives and forecasts for the area of the project I control that I hadn’t looked over to anywhere else it may have had an impact. And that’s my mistake; I should know it would do that. So when the team looked at my work for the 4th time, it hit one person; “Hey, if this is going to happen at that time, did we account for XYZ?”

No. We didn’t. None of us did. And the potential impact wasn’t huge in the terms of effort, but certainly would get people’s attention in the monetary requirements. But it was also a huge “IF.” And it was also highly unlikely EVERYTHING would come to fruition in that forecast. Which is why I went a bit over the usual ‘casting. And… nobody caught it. The senior members missed it. I missed it. We missed it. A mistake was made. After the smoke cleared from the panic alarms, I stepped back and realized I would NEVER make that mistake again. I doubt any of us will miss that portion in the future. It’s now an official “IF-THEN” part of the work.

And I thought back to the other parts of my life where I’ve made mistakes DO NOT TELL MY WIFE I ADMITTED TO THIS I WILL EMBARRASS YOU AT WORK… And wherein a lot of people make no mistakes, they also make very little noise or progress. At least they try something a little different. It starts conversations, it forces evolution, it builds character. Sometimes it totally blows a part of the Machine to shit, but it at least shows some “give a shit.” Some folks move up the ladder by never wavering from the narrow path of “The Middle.” But hey, I missed something, and if I miss it again then i should be let go. Like my granddad would tell me, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m old as dirt and don’t appreciate this bull shit.”

September 22, 2014 0

Tag: Advice