Eat It! Protein Cookies

Power Cookies

          As a young boy growing up in Federal Way, I would often spend my time in the woods behind my friend’s house, riding my cobbled-together BMX-style bike up and down the trails. Jimmy and I would spend hours in our imaginations, fighting aliens and powerful villains with names like MORDOK and RYAN BRINGLEY. My bike wasn’t as fancy as some of the other kid’s bikes, because the one my dad bought me for my birthday was stolen and later trashed and recovered from a swamp behind Jimmy’s house. I had a pretty good idea who had taken it, but at 6 years old I was in no position to fight an 11 year-old and win. So if they ever hit their knee on something in the middle of the night or lose $500 at a poker game and their wife leaves them, good.

          I came up with this variation of whey protein cookies because my kids just don’t seem to get nearly enough protein in their daily intake. They’ll only eat, and we’ll only cook, so much chicken and shrimp and salmon and hand-rubbed, grass-curious red meats. Chicken nuggets can only go so far.

o   This is just a supplemental “treat” for kids. My dudes go through runs of picky eating, then back to consuming anything they can find that doesn’t smell too much like a Romanian’s [deleted, gross].

o   There’s not enough protein in these, I don’t think (didn’t get in to Doctor’s Food School), to get your kid, or you, super jacked nor ripped. Those are actually good things in the fitness world, but it’s more important to have a consistent routine of self-acceptance and moderate-to-chill exercise to keep stress down.

          I don’t use sugar in these, but I don’t judge if you want to. Brown sugar works best as it adds a little more liquid via the molasses content.

          Chocolate chips have sugar. Yes. You got me there. Alert the fitness world. Cancel my membership. I’ll be in Pseudo-foodie blogger rehab during this difficult time, please respect my privacy.

          There are 2 variations around the protein and “flours.”

o   I’ve used both Whey Protein and Vegan protein for these.

o   These aren’t Vegan cookies in either finished-state. I know there are egg substitutes for people adhering to a vegan lifestyle but no vegans appeared in my kitchen to tell me what those are, so here ya go.

o   The proteins absorb liquids differently, so the recipes are slightly different. Just go with it.

          These are pretty soft, cake-like cookies. This is because they’re not COOKIES in the classic sense. If that bothers you, you can email my customer relations department at GetAHobby@gblottpowercookies.com.

          This makes about 12 palm-sized cookies, 20 smaller cookies, or 1 gloriously-gluttonous cookie bomb.

INGREDIENTS

1.      Butter – 2/3C (softened)

a.      Or –  2/3C Coconut Oil.

b.      Reduce oven temp by 25deg, as the oil could cause burning

2.      Eggs – 2

3.      Milk/Liquid – 4Tbsp

a.      I’ve used Almond, full-fat coconut, whole milk, and heavy cream. They’re all great.

b.      I once used 2Tbsp of sour cream to see what would happen and IT WAS GREAT, so there’s an option.

4.      Vanilla – 1tsp

5.      Banana – Pureed – about 3/4C.

a.      Use a green-er banana to up the resistant starch and help the gut bugs.

b.      Applesauce can also be used, but it’s not as sweet.

6.      Stevia-blend – 2Tbsp.

a.      Pure stevia is a little “earthy” for some people. The blends of stevia work well. You can use Xylitol or similar substitutes depending on your gut tolerance (i.e. sugar alcohol-based sweeteners can cause the kind of gas only little boys find to be hilariously epic).

b.      You can add or substitute 3Tbsp sugar here. No judging.

7.      Protein powder – 2/3C.

a.      I’ve used Orgain Chocolate 95% of the time. It’s a vegan powder with a good balance of amino acids, but is a bit higher in carbs due the vegetarian sources of protein. The upside is there’s more fiber to this.

b.      Orgain also needs a little more liquid added than the whey protein.

c.       MusclePharm makes a great chocolate powder and a great cookies & cream powder, depending on if you want brownie-like cookies, or vanilla-based.

8.      Flour – 1/2C.

a.      I use Bob’s 1:1 GF flour. There are a lot of good ones, but I did find the more commercially-known the flour, the less-great the tastes. 

b.      Bean-based flours give bean-based results…

c.       I haven’t used just a nut-based flour for these, but you could. The higher fat content might cause scorching, so watch your temp and bake time.

9.      Baking Soda – 1/4tsp

10.  Salt – 1/4tsp

11.  Baking powder – 1/4tsp (optional, makes it a little fluffier)

12.  Chocolate Chips – 1/3-1/2 C

a.      Check the label for ingredients to match your dietary needs.

13.  Optional

a.      Pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, bacon bits (yep), etc.

 

DO WORK – This is pretty much old-fashioned cookie-making from here on… The only thing to look out for is when adding the dry ingredients, the vegetarian protein and GF flour can suck up liquids pretty quickly. Have a little extra milk of your choice on hand.

          Heat oven to 350

          Mix ingredients 1-5 with a hand mixer. It might be a bit more soupy than you’re expecting. You’ll be fine. Do some air squats.

          Grab a good spatula and warm up your elbow.

o   (no, it’s not “Masquerade Night” at the neighbor’s house)

          Combine your dry ingredients in a bowl.

          Add half of your dry ingredients and keep stirring and folding.

o   You’ll know pretty quickly if you need more liquid, depending on how fast the dry stuff starts absorbing the wet.

o   Add about 1Tbsp if you need more.

o   Getting dry? With the veg powder, add more of that. It will add flavor, protein, and sweetness.

o   With whey powder, add half + half GF flour. Whey doesn’t always mix well with these other things to firm up.

o   Add the rest of the dry ingredients.

o   Add milk as needed to keep it in between cookie dough/cake batter. Thicker is better.

          Fold in however many chocolate chips you haven’t eaten.

          Take a spoonful and plop it in a coffee mug or small bowl.

o   Microwave that for about 30sec.

o   Let it cool down. Take a taste to check what you need at this point.

o   Sweeter? Sprinkle 1Tbsp of stevia.

          If you’re good widdit, get a baking sheet!

          Drop spoonfuls of dough on the sheet. You can use parchment paper or lightly grease the sheet, but a dry sheet seems to work fine.

          Keep your cookies about the size of a hockey puck.

o   They are kind of filling, which is part of the point.

Set the timer on your phone, tablet, and fitbit for 10min. Check the cookies at 10min.

Touch it. Does it spring back in the middle? TAKE THEM OUT RIGHT NOW and let them cool down.
No spring? Give it about 2min, then take them out.

Again, I tried to find something to add to a pretty healthy food map my kids travel that would add protein and the benefits of it. They don’t usually have any sugar-related behavioral swings, digestive issues (other than a good “clearing”), nor turned-up noses with these. 

 

Organic Chocolate Vegan Protein Pudding Recipe

I rarely post recipes here but wanted to share this one because it’s been a real life-saver for this newly Dairy-Free protein supplement junkie.

I first came across the magnificent valley of green bounty early in a hike up…
KIDDING.  Too many recipes have an overblown backstory of the author’s emotional attachment to locally-sourced berry compotes, but not me.  Won’t catch me rambling on about things that don’t feed the story. I hate that. Not “hate,” that’s a strong word I like to reserve for Hate Groups and people who dawdle in the line for samples at Costco.  MOVE ON WITH YOUR MINI-TACO, ya know?  Jeez.

OK, but, I came up with this randomly. I had a food sensitivity panel done and milk, dairy, and whey were all highly allergenic to my system, so I had to find a new protein supplement.
This mix comes out like a chocolate pudding/mousse.  It’s thick and has a chocolate cake-batter type flavor. I think the coconut cream adds a great smoothness to it, healthy-ass fats to keep fats off your healthy ass, and helps it firm up in the fridge.
My kids even like this, which is very rare.

  • Ingredients (here’s what I use, do what you like):
    Orgain Chocolate Protein Powder – 2/3 Cup
    Almond Milk – 2/3 Cup
    Coconut Cream (Trader Joe’s has a great one for $1.50) – 1/4 Cup
    Vanilla Stevia drops – 4-5, or to taste
    Options:
    Cinnamon, Fiber powder (I have used Acacia fiber, 0 taste to it), a pinch of sea-salt, almond butter, peanut butter, melted coconut oil (drizzle it in and it makes coconut “chips” when it cools), etc.
  • Put the first 2 in a bowl and sloooooowly mix them together with a whisk. Vegetable-based protein powder has a much finer texture than whey, and will go “aerosol” on ya if you get aggressive with it.
  • After it combines, it will be a little soupy but thicker than a usual protein shake. It’s okay to add a little more almond milk to loosen it up, but not too much.  You want to keep it well-combined but a little thick
  • Add the coconut cream and stevia, and any extras. The cream really smooths the mixture. It will help bring it all together when it cools in the fridge, also.
  • Chill for 30min-1hr while the mixture chills for 30min-1hr.

Something extra for those of us looking to get a protein fix and some sweetness to it.
YES, you can freeze it. I have an ice cream maker I plan to throw this into over the weekend. Will report back, assuming all goes well or if I don’t eat so much I’m immediately a Centaur.

Pretty Much Paleo Pancakes

1/4tsp Baking Soda

1/4tsp Sea salt (It’s all the rage)

2Tbsp whey protein powder (the more grass-fed/organic/isolated the better), vanilla is best

2 eggs (from the closest thing to “homeless” chickens as possible)

1 pretty ripe banana 

1Tbsp Almond or (GASP) Peanut butter

2Tbsp coconut flour 

  1. First, get your family far away from you so you can get some head-space and just make some awesome pancakes for them.  Usually they just slow down everything you’re doing.
  2. Throw the ‘nana, nut butter, eggs into a bowl and beat ’em til smooth.  That’s what I did.  You can do it differently but don’t bitch if it sucks.
  3. Sift in the protein powder, give it a couple turns.  
  4. Sift in the salt, baking soda, and coconut flour.  Turn ’em til smooth.  Maybe beat it again to smooth it up.
  5. Smoooooooth.  Ya feel me?
  6. Let it sit a bit, get all together.
  7. Heat a pan up to just-past the mid-point on the burner.  
  8. Ideally you’re dropping some coconut oil in that hot pan til it melts.  Swirl it all around, coat that pan like the back of a Summer fling on a Tahitian beach resort chaaaaaise.  Smooth.
  9. Then drop some of that batter in there and PAY ATTENTION!  The high-fat content will get the cakes browning up pretty quickly so don’t get yourself in a burned cake mode.  Try a test cake, drop like a quarter-sized dollop in there, see how it goes.  
  10. Taste test!  How’s it?  Good!
  11. Now you can do what comes naturally when making cakes.  Do it up.  Make a few big ones.  Make a couple little ones.  
  12. Enjoy.  Feel the power.  

Nutritional Information:

Calories:  enough
Fat:  good for you and enough
Carbs:  just a bit, maybe like 50g total if you eat the whole batch yourself
     Fiber:  8g or so
Protein:  like 30g or so.

I’m sure a strict Paleotian is preparing a response to this and getting their crossfit shorts in a wad, but please remember:
I’M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD OF PALEO EATING THROUGH ONE RECIPE THAT WORKED OUT WELL FOR ME AND MADE MY KIDS FORGET ABOUT REGULAR PANCAKES.  Also, eat sh*t.

Don’t feed the trolls, feed your beast.

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