CrowdFund Your Motivation

I’m still not sure if I like crowdfunding, the ability to ask friends or strangers for, and sometimes receive, financial backing for your pet projects.  It’s not exactly on-line panhandling, but it’s not really fundraising.  It IS, I mean, yeah, you’re raising funds for whatever it is you haven’t saved for, but do you really appreciate it and let it be YOUR baby?  In this case, we’re talking fundage, financially, money.  Mmkay?

Admittedly, I did use “GoFundMe.com” earlier this year to help a single mother get her car repaired.  She had no money, was living in a church, and needed a new transmission in order to get her car running to get around for job interviews.  The need was there, the means were there, so I cobbled together a few things and posted it and promoted it.  We made our goal in a few days, and I can only thank the kind people who gave anywhere from $10 to $50 to $300.  It was an inspiring influx of empathy and care, and very much appreciated.  There’s always more to the story, of course…

Of course, like anything that goes online, it had its share of trolls asking why a transmission cost of $600-something (labor included) was the target, why she didn’t just get a better car, etc.  By ignoring some of them or calling them out for being dipshits we were able to just focus on the goal.  Don’t feed the trolls.

I’m not going to say this isn’t some sort of meta-trolling about the intent of using crowdfunding to fill a project’s financial gap.  I’m not tearing a rotator cuff to pat myself on the butt for a job well done, either.  Just stating what is possible when you present a need to people who want to help.  It was really great to see it come together.  Hell, what would YOU do with your pet project if you had another $1,043 laying around?  Would you use it properly?  Could you/I be THAT accountable?  That’s why I wonder how much a person can appreciate the gifts they promote themselves to receive.  Some people are making movies. Some people are trying to pay off medical bills.  Who’s to say who’s right?  The people with the money, that’s who’s.

The “more to the story” is that I had two situations where fundraising for a cause took very different turns.  In one, I produced a comedy show to raise money for a family friend whose mom had been left with a mountain of medical bills after her husband passed away.  I don’t know how much was raised, all I know is the place as packed with concerned friends and a lot of love.  We did very well, and my friend’s mom was incredibly appreciative.
The other turn was that a person who I did something financially-beneficial for via fundraising really didn’t take advantage of the upturn.  There was an option there to move ahead with what they had been asking for – and given, but they either moved at a glacial pace as to appear immobile, or just bided their time.  Then kept hinting how they needed more of this, or didn’t have any of that.  In a side-project we also provided a lot of resources to help them get back on their feet, but nothing in the form of straight-up cash.   And pretty soon it seemd as if they’re just hoping to get more of something without putting out anything.  As much as I want to see everybody doing better for themselves, I want to see people DOING, unless some sort of crippling disease has taken their ability to leave the house and interact with people or bring me homemade cookies and/or dark beers from around the world.

The Need exists for a little something more; schools, food banks, neighbors, drag show open mic nights, etc.  People have needs that aren’t met because of – pick a reason.  And if you can help meet their needs, do it.  The 1% that made 95% of the income won’t.  Our taxes aren’t going to make up for it.  Gotta act locally.

Reminds me of a story my maternal grandfather told me.  There was a bear who grew up near a campsite.  Every Monday he would go to the dumpsters and pick through food and he grew strong and clever, but a little fatter than the other bears in the rivers eating salmon.  One Monday morning a park ranger saw the bear and thought he may be a hazard, so he tried to scare him off.  The bear didn’t understand the tactics;  this was garbage, nobody wanted it, why can’t he have it?  But the ranger didn’t want the bear coming into the park at other times, and didn’t understand the bear’s intent was simply to eat from a reliable source at a non-threatening time.  In the end, the bear starved to death after getting his nose caught in a plastic holder from a 6-er of Miller tallboys.
The Lesson: You can always get garbage, the good stuff takes some effort, and park rangers are usually assholes.  Presentation1

Cold and F-You Season

Just a friendly reminder from your co-worker…

  1. Just because you’re coughing up “less” blood doesn’t mean you’re “on the mend.” Stay at home.
  2. You missing 2 days of work = 2 days of work missed.  You getting 4 people sick = 4-6 days of work missed.  Stay at home.
  3. Your kid’s sickness doesn’t mean that kid should be socialized with other kids so that other kids’ immune systems can be exposed to your kid’s sickness and everybody takes a step forward in the “strong immune system” line.  You are not allowed to compromise anybody else’s health based on short-sighted, negligent, selfish parenting.  We’ll get through the 3 year-old’s party without you, your annoying fashion choices, and your overuse of the word “amazing.”  Stay at home.
  4. If I can hear you coughing and blowing your nose from 3 rows away, that’s too close. Stay at home.
  5. Stay at home.  Until March, if necessary.
  6. Wash your hands.  Wash ’em again.  Soap and water’s fine.  No more superbugs.
  7. Stay at home.

The Political Party Parent

In my 4 years of parenting I’ve noticed quite a few things that are likely my own internal judgments come to light…

I am a somewhat hyper-vigilant observer, which is a great help for cultivating material for the stage and this blog, but a terrible trait for, you know, enjoying life.  It often makes me, as my wife calls it, “annoyingly uptight.”  My uptightness, however, is also the same trait that causes me to hover around my kids in unfamiliar situations until we all know the lay of the playland, keeps them from thunking their head off the ground because I was socializing or phone-gazing or not being at all involved in their play time.  That level of involvement/concern/uptightness doesn’t make me “better” parent, but it sure as hell keeps my kids out of harm’s way, aggressive dog’s way, and “over-tall sharply-elbowed aggressive shit-head kid with phone-gazing parent’s” way. 

One parent type I’ve run into is who I call “the Political Partier.”  I’m not sure they even realize what they’re doing, but this is the parent who shows up at a kid’s party… WHICH ARE ALWAYS A GREAT WAY TO SPEND A FOOTBALL WEEKEND DAY INSTEAD OF WATCHING FOOTBALL ON ONE OF 35 DAYS OF THE YEAR… and doesn’t really “count.”  Example?  SURE, here ya go….

Couple with 1 kid.  Mom and kid come to the party.  Dad comes, too.  Didn’t have that counted on their RSVP, but hell, we can swing another few inches of the party-sub and a juicebox, dig in!  BUT… he’s almost a ghost.  Sits in the corner, looks at his phone the whole time, doesn’t mingle, doesn’t really make it known his kid and wife are there, nor how he’s related to any of this.  Here’s the Political Issue…

His mere presence now forces the host of the party’s significant other to assess any of that couples’ future parties as “go-worthy.” 

What’s the problem?  Well, now I would… just using myself as an example, not saying this has ever happened… I would have to ask “is HE going?” when they are hosting a party that I really don’t NEED to be part of.  And if he’s going then I have to go because I can’t look like the guy who’s not involved with his family, right? I mean, how many times does the daughter of a mom in your youngest kid’s toddler socialization group turn 2 and have the party at an indoor petting zoo for blind animals?  Once?  So yeah, big day all around, better tape up my face and go.  Paying for another gift and card and taking day off from football isn’t enough.  Gotta BE THERE, Dad.

OR, just not go.  Take the older kid off for the day while mom and youngest goes off to do their thing at the party.  Identify with your other kid in your own space for a while, and bond there.  Get your own slice of cake somewhere.  Don’t buckle. Get out. Do what you have to do and enjoy it.

Which is a great thing to do as long as you can let go of the other parents judging you. 

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