Can You Afford To Care Act

Already my family has taken the brunt of the Affordable Care Act’s jet-wash, knocking us off a very good plan and into the spiral of disparate coverages.  Now, I can’t prove that the plan we were on 3 months ago was impacted by the machinations of ACA.  I won’t call it Obamacare because the irony of “Affordable Care” is much darker to me, so it’s ACA all the way.  I can’t prove the impact because I would have to see transcripts of the meetings between my company and the health insurance providers (HSP) we were with, and how our premiums went up $348/month.  THEN I’d have to get clearance from the companies my firm talked with about costs and how those costs went up, break down per-person premium bumps, and then I’d start to have some proof.  But that’s not as important as the Truth.  The Truth is how it impacts Me, or Us, or You, or My Family.  And sorry neighbor, that’s all I give an F about.  

So, a month ago we were basically forced off our plan as the premiums through my company were to rise on Nov. 1 to the equivalent of a mortgage payment on a good-sized home in a decent neighborhood outside of the Seattle area (overvalued!).  And with the holidays coming, we’d rather have the $700 to put elsewhere than into the coffers of the legalized racketeering that is health insurance.  I have been the beneficiary and bitch of HSPs in the past, believe me.  I’ve been on both sides of it.  But as of now, due to the ri$e, I am covered through work, but… MY FAMILY HAS NO COVERAGE RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!

WHAT?  BUT… Every American who wants coverage gets it, right?  
Well SURE… If you need to get to a new plan, things change but you get coverage!  But first you have to provide certificate of creditable coverage for the previous 24 months.  And that takes time.  And fill out a 25-35page “health questionnaire” and then fax that in.  And that takes time.  And there’s the online application.  There’s a person who reviews the questionnaire and makes some decisions.  All of this takes time before ACA goes officially into effect in January… or is it March?  

So right now, instead of paying about $600/month to cover my kids and wife we are sitting on the money and it’s not in the backalley of the local HSP.  So if my kid needs a doctor’s office visit and some medicine , probably cost us about $180 out of pocket.

WAIT, dude… That’s… No deductible?

Nope, no deductible.  No tax on my cover charge.  No proof that I can pay for care after I’ve already payed my premium.  It would save us $420/month in this scenario.  And the care would be the same.  Offices will take money right from you.  Did you know that?  Isn’t that weird?  A service taking payment directly from those they serve?  What a world we’re living in.

Of course there’s the trepidation of catastrophe, what if a bone breaks or a clot forms or a hemorrhoid-rages out of control and needs cauterization?  Car accidents.  Shark flood.  Old Testament diarrhea AT THE GROCERY STORE.  What then?  Who pays?  I guess it depends on who decides what your life costs, and you pay them.  

Catastrophic insurance, if it exists for you, maybe all we need, and a little cash stash to cover the rest of it.  Otherwise, sorry kiddos… Christmas is thin this year, but we’ll stuff your stockings with doctor’s office stickers and sweet magnetic calendars from the HSP stating “Happy & Healthy Is The Best Policy.”  Stress kills more than anything else, and it’ll probably kill you by the time you figure out how deep in your colon the HSPs are.


About Geoff Lott

Geoff Lott is a "thinking person's comedian" as much as a "drinking person's comedian." Born and raised near Seattle, his writing and comedy is Cloudy with a Chance of Hope. Less offensive than your average nightly news program, Geoff is opinionated with intent, and a rebel without a clause. A comedian, actor, dad, husband, co-worker, weirdo, and great friend, Geoff Lott has a sense of humor like a sommelier's sense of smell; aged well, with a hint of dark chocolate, Irish whiskey, and leather. Credits and press kit available upon request!
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1 Response to Can You Afford To Care Act

  1. Turkish says:

    Amen brother.

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