Are You Too Good of a Parent?

I have a term in my vocabulary for people who do little else than bupple-up negative stuff from around the world, things that perhaps aren’t in the brightest of lights, and they feel you really need to understand how this is hurting you them.  The term is “ShamePolice.”  These are people who were likely the kid in grade school raising their hand on a Friday afternoon to remind the teacher of that homework assignment she mentioned before recess.  This is the person who drives 61 in the passing lane, because that ought to be “fast enough.”

Don’t let them pull you over, because if you do, it validates the life-time they shit into the gaping abyss of their self-importance spent discussing ideas and articles about it.  And if nothing else, Misery loves Company.  That being said, “philosophers” Adam Swift and Harry Brighouse are two of the biggest fucktard ShamePolice officers I’ve ever come across, and I have unlimited internet access.  They call themselves philosophers because “part-time thinker, part-time Sandwich Artist” wouldn’t fit on their pocket protectors (unconfirmed).

In their “study” of familial structure, parental involvement, and nurturing a child’s life, they theorize that parents who are involved in their kid’s lives in thoughtful, loving, nurturing ways that are aimed at creating an environment in which to Parent a well-rounded, empathic, intelligent, world-friendly citizen are creating an “unfair disadvantage” in society. To whom is this an “unfair disadvantage?”

“‘What we realised we needed was a way of thinking about what it was we wanted to allow parents to do for their children, and what it was that we didn’t need to allow parents to do for their children, if allowing those activities would create unfairnesses for other people’s children’.”

To kids and families and parents who are NOT taking steps to create similar environments and/or children. The “advantaged” families are creating an “unlevel playing field” against kids who are NOT being nurtured.

I just pooped the OUTSIDE of my pants.
The article states, and I’m paraphrasing, that reading to your kids before bed is a stronger foundation builder than the ability to send the child to an elite private school. Bonding with the kids in any way possible, therefore, is more valuable than an education that may get a “ooh wooow!” from external people.  If you’re kid loves to read about dinosaurs, and you’re building that interest with reading and movies and play, you’re way better off than the parent who ships the kid off to study geology and biology and natural selection.

I have the softest, tear-filled place in my soul for kids who are neglected in any way whatsoever. I can barely look at the words of a link about babies being left alone for 9 hours while “dad” played FarmSubsidy on facebook.  I have met, coached, and played with kids who aren’t from the best family situations, and they have all been the first-in for a big hug or high-five when it’s time to go. Kids need attention from people who care.

This also assumes that children who aren’t read-to or aren’t in elite schools are being victimized by those who are.  It starts at home, period. If a parent says their loud, rude, whiny 6 year-old is “just being 6”, I’m going to assume they are a shitty parent who doesn’t understand the term “Product of Environment.”

But this is what philosophers do, after all.  They THINK about stuff, and imagine what it would be like if… Hypothesize Me! And this study brought forth just the most ridiculous aspect of how to raise, nurture, discipline, and foster the growth of a child into, at the least, a decent member of society.

And then there’s me, making my Citizen’s Citations against the ShamePolice.  I should be above it, but I care too much about raising kids to see this horse-S and keep my fingers still.
“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.” – Plato

About Geoff Lott

Geoff Lott is a "thinking person's comedian" as much as a "drinking person's comedian." Born and raised near Seattle, his writing and comedy is Cloudy with a Chance of Hope. Less offensive than your average nightly news program, Geoff is opinionated with intent, and a rebel without a clause. A comedian, actor, dad, husband, co-worker, weirdo, and great friend, Geoff Lott has a sense of humor like a sommelier's sense of smell; aged well, with a hint of dark chocolate, Irish whiskey, and leather. Credits and press kit available upon request!
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