We Can’t Miss You If You Don’t Go Away

Well things have gone and gotten into an international garbage fire, huh? Governments are trying to quell the crash of their society’s fears against the crumbling economies, hinting that “everything will be fine when you’re back at work, producing, happy, normal, YOU WILL BE FINE WE PROMISE OR WE WILL FIRE YOU, AND YOUR FAMILY WILL DIE IN THEIR BEDS.” In the meantime, there’s a groundswell of sentiment backing the Workers of the World. As employees (non-CEO-levels) are forced to stay home, the world’s climate is seeing rest and repair while commutes and factories are reduced to almost nil in some places. And some people with almost no personality at all are missing the normalcy of a routine that was leading them to a nice retirement card and an early grave.

Now, there’s shit to be shoveled everywhere at all times. As someone who has shoveled shit of one kind or another, and will do so in the future, I have been trying to “stay productive” in the days since being sent to work from home (WFH), going on 1 full month now. It’s different and weird and not what any of us would want, but this is reality now. Dwelling in Reality is the only way to really center yourself when you don’t know what to do next. And sometimes shoveling shit isn’t really what you’re supposed to do at all.

Yesterday I, and 50% of the employees for the company I work for, were furloughed due to the quick, sharp decline in consumer spending. I am still processing feelings and ideas about it, from “they don’t see me as important” to “now’s the time to finish up the 1,000,000 things I say I’d do if I had time.” We’re also in the middle of a stretch where our kids are not in school, and we’ve done our best to homeschool them, or at the least, not let their brains go completely pudding-like. So now I can look at all the shovels and all the shit and decide what I want to do with either of them.

I surely have more to do than I have written down. In the past year I left one job, had 3 days off, and started the new one. Shortly thereafter I tore my quadriceps tendon, which I didn’t find out for about a month, then had surgery to repair it, and currently I am rehabbing that. Also in the past year I got into a debate online (I know… dumb move) about how workers control the industry, but nobody believes they do, because you’d never be able to organize enough people to walk out at the same time to cripple an economy “just to prove a point.” My point was that if every person in a major industry took a week off, and had their company pay for it by way of paid vacation time, the industry would see a hit that would likely correct the way of thinking. That introduced a larger, more problematic idea to get past.

The idea is that people fear the loss of their income so much that they’d never do something that drastic, something that would raise the ire of the company for which they trade time for production and knowledge. Not enough people would trade a paid day off to march in a protest if that meant they would lose time to do nothing around the holidays or take a trip somewhere. I know, this sounds very Marxist, and even though I’ve read only a wee bit of Marx and usually when I was hungover. I know this leans very socialistic, because it is from a Worker’s point of view. But again, I’m not against Capitalism. But a minimum wage isn’t the least you can make, it’s the least a company is forced to pay you, and some would pay less if they could, because Profit Margins, bitch.

We have a greater power now. In a time when many of us looked at saving our jobs by going to work, we can help save communities and people and industries if we do waaaaay less than we are used to doing. There are skills to learn. There are museums you can tour, virtually. Work on your lunges. Come July you can have those bakery-fresh buns you always promised yourself you’d bring to the party. And if you would just STAY HOME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, there can be parties to go to, with people you truly like, who have jobs with golden shovels. Won’t it be nice to be missed?

March 26, 2020 0

The Amazing Health Crises Part 1

I’m no fan of privatized health care. We’ve been in its shadow in America for so long it has been accepted as the Devil We Know. Lots of people are too frightened to go all-in on a Nationalized Health Care situation, wondering if the quality of care will deteriorate, like most things do when handed over to the government. I get it. I have dealt with insurance companies on deeply frustrating, emotional levels since I was in my early 20’s and trying to figure out why my joints were on fire and my skin was breaking out in scaly rashes. (answer, Psoriatic Arthritis!). Now imagine giving an entire Plan of Care over to Government Employees who are NOT in line to get bonuses based on the organization’s performance, and you might begin to picture a doctor’s office resembling a DMV lobby on a Monday near the end of the month…

The problems that stem from the gap in having good coverage and having “not good” coverage, or no coverage, can be filled with money and doctors. By 2032, there’s a predicted shortfall of perhaps 122,000 doctors, both in Primary care and in Specialists.
“The major factor driving demand for physicians continues to be a growing, aging population. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the nation’s population is estimated to grow by more than 10% by 2032, with those over age 65 increasing by 48%. Additionally, the aging population will affect physician supply, since one-third of all currently active doctors will be older than 65 in the next decade. When these physicians decide to retire could have the greatest impact on supply.”

The rheumatologist I was a patient of recently semi-retired, and was one of less than 20 in the state of Washington (his number, can’t corroborate). The provider gap is expected to be filled by Physician’s Assistants and APRNs, likely doing more triage and low-severity care before referring on to the Doctors. Got gas? They’ll check you out. The gas is presenting as a green spirit that can telepathically communicate with birds? On ya go!

So we’ll have fewer doctors in relation to (potential) demand of people. Baby Boomers (about 74 million) make up a great portion of the population, and will in turn need more geriatric services and care as they near the Final Good Bye (Florida or Arizona). Factor in a generation that was caught up in few terribly destructive health crazes (jogging, low fat dieting, voting Republican) and you’re looking at more cases of Alzheimers, Dementia, Trumpism, and judging of younger generations than ever before. What then?

Well… I don’t really know. Here’s where I’d start with getting a nationalized health care plan going.

Take SUPER GOOD care of yourself. Get away from refined carbs, which can cause inflammation, which is the underlying cause of most chronic diseases. I triggered my autoimmune issues with a diet of stress, bad sleep, low fat eating, low-grade beer, and sleeping in a weird, moldy environment in college. Keeping inflammation low-to-no will greatly lend to longevity.
Forgive all student debt for Medical Doctors, or heavily subsidize their education, particularly for specialists in fields lacking care providers. Nursing is the 8th most-popular Major in college. Pre-Med isn’t in the top 10 (one study shows Health professions & related areas is #2 in 2017 but doesn’t differentiate between Nursing, Dentistry, etc.). Computer science is #1, but that’s an entirely different pursuit. (FTR, Instagram Influencer and YouTuber are not college majors, but should be charged a quarterly tuition) Student Debt should not be a barrier to entry for the betterment of anybody’s life and education.
Get Rid of Betsy De Vos. She’s a malignancy to the education of American children, and should be treated as such. She’d rather keep people poor and under-educated, as an attempt at reserving higher education for wealthier families. She is the richest person on Trump’s cabinet. She’s never taught a class in her life.
Slow-Roll the national health care plan. Phase it in a few areas at a time. Nothing jarringly huge. Take one service and subsidize it. Radiology. Every x-ray, CT Scan, MRI is paid for by the American Government. Soon you’ll see what works and what doesn’t, the potential areas of corruption, and who stuck what in their where-now?

Ultimately, staying healthy is the best cure. Age and Life take their toll. I have a surgery on January 30 to repair a torn quadriceps tendon. Life happens. But in a nation with way more money than intelligence when it comes to spending it, we need to equate a Healthy Citizenry with a Healthy Nation. We have many more needs than faster fighter jets that will never fire a shot at a hostile foreign enemy. We need people to build solar panels and roads and tend to hemp forests.

January 22, 2020 0

Carry-On Luggage

It’s been forever since I wrote anything. I have lacked energy, motivation, insight, and probably time to do so. But honestly, I have the time, I just burn it doing unproductive crap like working or yard work. Or phone-scrolling like a laboratory crack-monkey. The motivation has been there, sometimes, but I’m not feeling too inspired lately. Then I read something, I think it was Carl Jung’s quote… (hey, Geoff, an easy way to confirm that is go to on the internet and see if this is true…)

“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.”

I have plenty of work to do, but man, Jung was a pretty deep dude.

His insight into the duality of human existence, of overcoming our greatest fears or darkest corners by admitting them and confronting them, led me to a lot of introspection in my 20’s. In my late-20’s, I had what was probably close to what they call a “quarter-life crisis.” Did a lot of therapy at that time, a lot of looking way back to my childhood to understand why I was in a cycle of friendships and relationships that stagnated. The only constant in those scenarios was Me, so however it played out, I had the same role every time. It was a great step forward to gain understanding of my own behavioral drives.

“His retreat into himself is not a final renunciation of the world, but a search for quietude, where alone it is possible for him to make his contribution to the life of the community.”

Fast-forward to 2019. Recently spent a fair amount of time with some people who, frankly, are carrying a lot of old shit around. And not just carrying it, but leaning it onto other people, unconsciously, because that’s what they have to offer. I don’t think it’s malicious, their leaning. There’s no reflection of whether or not it’s beneficial to carry it, and thus, no wondering if it helps to blurt out their “take” on a situation. Because some of the stuff I saw and heard was straight-up bullshit, bigoted, short-sighted, and/or stupid.

“I have always been impressed by the fact that there are a surprising number of individuals who never use their minds if they can avoid it, and an equal number who do use their minds, but in an amazingly stupid way.”

When I was 10 or 11, I had a great interest in biology and how animals were created and grew. I wondered how 2 kids from the same parents could look vastly different. I loved animals. I told my mom I thought it would be cool to be a veterinarian some day. She asked me…

“Do you think if someone brought you a sick animal that you could put it to sleep?”

So in this conversation about something not happening, in theory, for 20 years, I have to handle the hardest part of the work before I ever start? Whatever place of reality that came from, it wasn’t encouraging. I’m not a veterinarian. I didn’t share much with my mom about my hopes after that. Subconsciously I didn’t see trust there.

“We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become.”

Recently we’ve been working a lot on the Growth Mindset with our kids, and the teams I coach. It’s more about understanding that putting in effort leads to success, mistakes are OK but quitting is not, and taking time daily to reflect on what went well, and what we can change. This doesn’t mean we eschew dwelling in reality so that we never feel bad or think we screwed up, cranking Disney soundtracks and polishing our participation trophies. It means we focus on what’s working, praise the effort that went it a good outcome, and admit that we can get better.

So when I’m around negativity, which for some people is a default selection in their menu – to find fault everywhere and constantly express how people around them would be happier if they’d just listen to advice – I quickly tire of that cycle. I see a person who is insecure and needs validation. I see a person who is hurt and can’t or won’t heal. I see someone who needs to be listened to, but can’t ask for help. There’s a part of all of us that is flawed, imperfect, mottled, cracked, or dark. It’s a part we’re not all happy with, and most of us would never allow the world to see it. But it’s part of being Human. I’m a wreck sometimes, the way my brain processes the smallest issues while accepting horrible events.

“The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.”

There are times when these people would steer conversations towards things they knew a lot about. Which is fine. But not everyone knows a lot about, let’s say, the compression ratios of indirect injection in diesel engines (it ranges from 18:1 to 24:1, but you go lower and you’re gonna bonk it out). And it’s not a lively discussion when one person has to talk about that for a long time after being told what’s-what about tariffs with China and how that impacts American spending from across the dinner table. And then they point out “Geoff’s tuned out, he doesn’t know shit about diesel engines.” True on both accounts.

There were a few times when, having pointed out, quietly, that what I was hearing from these people – complaints about how other people did their job, how other people spent their money, how other people lived their lives (even though it had zero outward impact) – was just dead-weight negatives, I was told to “not make a thing of it.” I wasn’t making a thing of it, but I’m not going to NOT put up a boundary on my good time. Life is far too short. Don’t crap in a punchbowl and call me impolite for drinking from my flask. Don’t crap in a punchbowl, period.

“Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life.”

Instead of carrying it all around, everywhere we go, I think it’s far more beneficial to admit we carry some ugly luggage. Start there. We lie to ourselves, tell ourselves things are fine while our ears are bleeding, refuse to admit we have to make a change, etc. And the luggage gets heavier. It takes more strength to put it down and open it up than it does to keep carrying it. Nobody can see it, usually. So it just looks like somebody struggling to get through the day; the baggage is invisible, but the weight of it is evident.

And the closer we are to letting go of that stuff, the more some people get uncomfortable. They don’t understand that dragging it around isn’t part of Life, it’s part of Stagnation and Death. I hope I can keep choosing introspection and reflection over wallowing.

“Every step closer to my soul excites the scornful laughter of my devils, those cowardly ear-whisperers and poison-mixers.”

May 15, 2019 0

Be Not Still, My Beating Heart

On the afternoon of March 14^th, following some busy days and nights, I got home and felt like my chest was frozen. After sitting around and letting everything reset, I felt better, but that’s not a far walk from what I had been feeling. I told myself “don’t mess around here, man, this isn’t funny, this isn’t acid reflux.”

I walked around my yard for about 5minutes, and again felt frozen between my shoulders. I had never felt anything like it, and it freaked me out. It was painful, but not like a sore muscle. I wasn’t sweating, nor feeling a looming sense of unmitigated despair any more than usual. So my wife drove me to the ER. I walked in and told the folks there what was going on, and with eyes widened the way you’d widen your eyes if somebody had a harpoon in their ear and asked if it “looked bad” but you didn’t want them to panic, they told me to sit down and do some tests. My blood pressure was up, oxygen was OK, and I went to a room for observation.

An EKG showed no signs of a heart attack. A blood test found no evidence of a heart attack. I was admitted a few hours later with the aim of being kept overnight for an angiogram. It’s that procedure where a doctor snakes a thin tube into your artery (they went in through my wrist but shaved an area peri-groinal just in case… they needed even more power over the situation), to your heart, and you watch the entire thing on an X-Ray monitor while iodine is injected in a the artery, showing any areas of narrowing or damage. I was kinda high when they did it, after they had injected me with a light sedative, which calmed me down after I had spent a good half hour crying in my hospital room. They should grow a hybrid of Sativa, Indica, and Sense of Mortality. Really burns off the white noise.

So as I’m lying on the table, the doctor comes in and tells me this is his 4^th procedure of the morning. I’m a little worried because it’s coming up on lunch time and, that usually leads to rushed or sloppy work. But the staff threw the X-ray over me and we watched my heart thumping away. I couldn’t really see anything of a blockage as they had yet to inject the iodine. I didn’t feel anything more than a poke at my wrist when they made the insertion. I just lay there with very little to think about other than my life, and my family, and my future with my family.

A minute or maybe 5 later, it was show-time. The doctor injected the iodine, enough to darken the artery we suspected was having an issue. It showed up like a black worm on the screen, wriggling beneath the right atrium as blood was struggling to get through. And there it was…

RCA-xray — *Not my heart, but I was pinched above the PDA*

My right coronary artery, had a 1.5mm area that was 70-80% narrowed/blocked/too small. 1.5mm. That’s miniscule. In the universe it doesn’t register as a blip of a blip’s blip. But it can cause huge issues. It can kill you. Is that how I wanted to go? After being run over by a Harley 20 years ago, narrowly avoiding 100’s of car accidents, almost flipping a car on 520, but I get taken out by 1.5mm of blocked artery…

A moment later the doctor said, “OK, there it is, that skinny part in the middle is the problem. Let’s get that back open here.” A stent was placed, and I could see the vessels and branches into the ventricles all grow darker, as well. They were finally getting far more blood than they had in quite a while. I was up and walking around my hospital room that night, and went home the next day, happy to go pick up my boys after school.

The staff said “Wow, you’re smart for coming in when you did. Too many guys try and walk it off.” Being proactive AND correct is very rare for me. I was even more grateful for listening to myself, and even in the face of some strong agnosticism, I fully believe that I have angels (for lack of a better term) that whisper to me.

Since this happened, I’ve felt far better than I have in about a year, and probably 3. Of COURSE I feel better – my heart’s working much more closely to “Normal”, ya big goose! If you think something’s wrong, if you have consistently high blood pressure, please go get things checked out. You can save yourself a lot of trouble, and maybe even a lot of life.

April 4, 2018 0

Eat It! Protein Cookies

Power Cookies

– As a young boy growing up in Federal Way, I would often spend my time in the woods behind my friend’s house, riding my cobbled-together BMX-style bike up and down the trails. Jimmy and I would spend hours in our imaginations, fighting aliens and powerful villains with names like MORDOK and RYAN BRINGLEY. My bike wasn’t as fancy as some of the other kid’s bikes, because the one my dad bought me for my birthday was stolen and later trashed and recovered from a swamp behind Jimmy’s house. I had a pretty good idea who had taken it, but at 6 years old I was in no position to fight an 11 year-old and win. So if they ever hit their knee on something in the middle of the night or lose $500 at a poker game and their wife leaves them, good.

– I came up with this variation of whey protein cookies because my kids just don’t seem to get nearly enough protein in their daily intake. They’ll only eat, and we’ll only cook, so much chicken and shrimp and salmon and hand-rubbed, grass-curious red meats. Chicken nuggets can only go so far.

o This is just a supplemental “treat” for kids. My dudes go through runs of picky eating, then back to consuming anything they can find that doesn’t smell too much like a Romanian’s [deleted, gross].

o There’s not enough protein in these, I don’t think (didn’t get in to Doctor’s Food School), to get your kid, or you, super jacked nor ripped. Those are actually good things in the fitness world, but it’s more important to have a consistent routine of self-acceptance and moderate-to-chill exercise to keep stress down.

– I don’t use sugar in these, but I don’t judge if you want to. Brown sugar works best as it adds a little more liquid via the molasses content.

– Chocolate chips have sugar. Yes. You got me there. Alert the fitness world. Cancel my membership. I’ll be in Pseudo-foodie blogger rehab during this difficult time, please respect my privacy.

– There are 2 variations around the protein and “flours.”

o I’ve used both Whey Protein and Vegan protein for these.

o These aren’t Vegan cookies in either finished-state. I know there are egg substitutes for people adhering to a vegan lifestyle but no vegans appeared in my kitchen to tell me what those are, so here ya go.

o The proteins absorb liquids differently, so the recipes are slightly different. Just go with it.

– These are pretty soft, cake-like cookies. This is because they’re not COOKIES in the classic sense. If that bothers you, you can email my customer relations department at GetAHobby@gblottpowercookies.com.

– This makes about 12 palm-sized cookies, 20 smaller cookies, or 1 gloriously-gluttonous cookie bomb.

INGREDIENTS

1. Butter – 2/3C (softened)

a. Or – 2/3C Coconut Oil.

b. Reduce oven temp by 25deg, as the oil could cause burning

2. Eggs – 2

3. Milk/Liquid – 4Tbsp

a. I’ve used Almond, full-fat coconut, whole milk, and heavy cream. They’re all great.

b. I once used 2Tbsp of sour cream to see what would happen and IT WAS GREAT, so there’s an option.

4. Vanilla – 1tsp

5. Banana – Pureed – about 3/4C.

a. Use a green-er banana to up the resistant starch and help the gut bugs.

b. Applesauce can also be used, but it’s not as sweet.

6. Stevia-blend – 2Tbsp.

a. Pure stevia is a little “earthy” for some people. The blends of stevia work well. You can use Xylitol or similar substitutes depending on your gut tolerance (i.e. sugar alcohol-based sweeteners can cause the kind of gas only little boys find to be hilariously epic).

b. You can add or substitute 3Tbsp sugar here. No judging.

7. Protein powder – 2/3C.

a. I’ve used Orgain Chocolate 95% of the time. It’s a vegan powder with a good balance of amino acids, but is a bit higher in carbs due the vegetarian sources of protein. The upside is there’s more fiber to this.

b. Orgain also needs a little more liquid added than the whey protein.

c. MusclePharm makes a great chocolate powder and a great cookies & cream powder, depending on if you want brownie-like cookies, or vanilla-based.

8. Flour – 1/2C.

a. I use Bob’s 1:1 GF flour. There are a lot of good ones, but I did find the more commercially-known the flour, the less-great the tastes.

b. Bean-based flours give bean-based results…

c. I haven’t used just a nut-based flour for these, but you could. The higher fat content might cause scorching, so watch your temp and bake time.

9. Baking Soda – 1/4tsp

10. Salt – 1/4tsp

11. Baking powder – 1/4tsp (optional, makes it a little fluffier)

12. Chocolate Chips – 1/3-1/2 C

a. Check the label for ingredients to match your dietary needs.

13. Optional

a. Pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, bacon bits (yep), etc.

DO WORK – This is pretty much old-fashioned cookie-making from here on… The only thing to look out for is when adding the dry ingredients, the vegetarian protein and GF flour can suck up liquids pretty quickly. Have a little extra milk of your choice on hand.

– Heat oven to 350

– Mix ingredients 1-5 with a hand mixer. It might be a bit more soupy than you’re expecting. You’ll be fine. Do some air squats.

– Grab a good spatula and warm up your elbow.

o (no, it’s not “Masquerade Night” at the neighbor’s house)

– Combine your dry ingredients in a bowl.

– Add half of your dry ingredients and keep stirring and folding.

o You’ll know pretty quickly if you need more liquid, depending on how fast the dry stuff starts absorbing the wet.

o Add about 1Tbsp if you need more.

o Getting dry? With the veg powder, add more of that. It will add flavor, protein, and sweetness.

o With whey powder, add half + half GF flour. Whey doesn’t always mix well with these other things to firm up.

o Add the rest of the dry ingredients.

o Add milk as needed to keep it in between cookie dough/cake batter. Thicker is better.

– Fold in however many chocolate chips you haven’t eaten.

– Take a spoonful and plop it in a coffee mug or small bowl.

o Microwave that for about 30sec.

o Let it cool down. Take a taste to check what you need at this point.

o Sweeter? Sprinkle 1Tbsp of stevia.

– If you’re good widdit, get a baking sheet!

– Drop spoonfuls of dough on the sheet. You can use parchment paper or lightly grease the sheet, but a dry sheet seems to work fine.

– Keep your cookies about the size of a hockey puck.

o They are kind of filling, which is part of the point.

Set the timer on your phone, tablet, and fitbit for 10min. Check the cookies at 10min.

Touch it. Does it spring back in the middle? TAKE THEM OUT RIGHT NOW and let them cool down.
No spring? Give it about 2min, then take them out.

Again, I tried to find something to add to a pretty healthy food map my kids travel that would add protein and the benefits of it. They don’t usually have any sugar-related behavioral swings, digestive issues (other than a good “clearing”), nor turned-up noses with these.

August 21, 2017 0

The Energy Vampires Arise

Energy Vampires are people who leave you exhausted after you spend time with them. I have a few in my life, some at work and some in regular world life. The work EVs are the worst. They don’t realize what they’re doing. They can’t stop talking about things they have either ALL the knowledge about and steer conversations to those areas, or they have no idea what’s going on and spew opinions that are counter to what common sense and decency dictate (Election Season!). They are in a constant state of near-panic, yet when somebody suggests that we’re going to get the work done and it’s no reason to freak out, OH WELL WHO IS FREAKING OUT I’M NOT FREAKING OUT AND IF I WAS FREAKING OUT I WONDER WHY YOU GUYS AREN’T FREAKING OUT…

Point, proven.
That shit gets old, fast. It starts off “weird” and tails off to “annoyingly tiring.” And usually, the EV’s – much like regular vampires – don’t see their reflection and so, can’t change it. They find any reason they can to turn up the tension, though it’s usually whatever’s going on within manifesting outwardly. I was once stuck in a 30min car ride with one… 30 MINUTES… and it resolved itself soon after a 4-hour period of brisk walking and green tea.

I’ve had two pop up recently. One at work, one in my personal life. I’m positive I have been, and will probably be in the future, a bit of/an EV. I can be a handful of weirdness if I ain’t slept much and get hungry. I’m human and I would bet a bag of O-neg that I’ll have my own version of “Twilight” happening before Inauguration Day.

This blog, MindBodyGreen, has a great reference of EV’s, listing the various types… Anybody look familiar on here?

“Energy vampires can be your family, friends, clients, colleagues, teachers, neighbors, lovers, or even strangers. And they come in all types…

There is the blamer, who lays blame on everyone else without ever taking any responsibility. (Narcissists are some of the old-blood EV’s)
The guilt trippers use shame to get what they want.
Jealous bees can never genuinely feel happiness for anyone else.
Then there are the insecure ones, who pull others down to their level of low self-esteem.
The fun haters seem unable to embrace joy. The bullies stomp on the little guys to elevate their egos.
The Debbie downers, the whiners, the short-tempers, the gossipers, the drama queens, and the list goes on…”

I don’t have any real advice that isn’t covered in that blog, so if you’re vexed by such sucking of energy please visit that. I have a few that I’m keeping an ear and eyes open for, psychological garlic in hand. Stay strong out there. Stay out of the shadows.

October 11, 2016 0

The Brain Game

I have low-level, high-function (when I want to be) form of ADD. It’s been there most of my life, and when I look back on my years in school where I was taxing my physiological resources just to maintain a 3.0, I think I could have done more, or better, had I known – or accepted – that I had something different happening. The more I learn about how our brains work, the more I realize that ADD is not taboo or a sentence to a muddled, unfinished life.

tumblr_kqumrr0YW41qzpwi0o1_500 — *Accused of being a “Grammar Nazi,” I simply detest lazy writing, but I am in no way “anti-Semantic.”*

Here’s kind of what it’s like to have ADD when I’m not feeling great:

I recently lost an argument with my wife, which took place ENTIRELY IN MY HEAD. I didn’t want to go to a certain place for a home project, but I knew she’d want to, and every time I thought up a reason why we should NOT go, her voice kicked back why it was better to go there. I just agreed and, outloud, said “Fine, fine, we’ll do it your way.” I WAS ALONE IN THE KITCHEN AT 6:45AM, WAITING FOR COFFEE TO BREW.
I started to empty the dishwasher, which I hate doing but wanted to “get something done.” The top rack was a mish-mash of cups and smaller plates, and… plastic dishes with no tops. There were no tops in the dishwasher. And my brain put the brakes on, and started figuring out ways to wiggle out of this. “I can’t do THIS. There are no tops. I’ll have to dig through the cabinet for tops. Who the hell is using these as dishes? We have perfectly good dishes. We have small bowls. What if there are no tops for these, like we got them from somebody else? Who did we get these from? Was I there? Are these from a kid’s friend’s house? What play-date did they go on?”

That’s how an ADD brain works. Sometimes the smallest thing causes my Professional Crastination skills to fire up. I’m a ProCrastinator. When a task seems “too big,” I pump the brakes. I pretend, sometimes, that I’m “planning” or getting notes together to do it right. But we all know that you can’t eat an elephant in one bite. You have to own a national sandwich shop and have the money from that pay for your big-game excursion to hunt and kill it!

I heard about Dr. Robert Cooper, Ph. D. on a podcast a while ago, Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey. Dr. Cooper’s a neuroscientist who has studied not only How our minds work, but Why they do what they do. His insight into the natural programming of our brain’s commands (Find something that works, stick with it, avoid change so we don’t falter or die, etc.) and how to change (i.e. UpWire or “hack”) the command center via Conscious Awareness has changed a lot for my own life. I highly recommend his podcasts for insights for everybody’s better understanding of how our minds work, and how to be conscious of little things that could hinder our Best Selves.

Eventually I’ll have something pretty funny to enter here. I hope. Right now my comedy brain is inundated with some new material about our upcoming elections, voting, and using drugs. Pretty sure one thing leads to another there.

Please leave any comments or tips you have for getting focused for Life stuff. I know sleeping enough, getting some exercise, and eating well are three main components. What else? High-grade fish oils? The will to see your enemies drown in the wake of your success? Whatever’s good…

And as always, my deepest thanks for reading.

May 23, 2016 0

Organic Chocolate Vegan Protein Pudding Recipe

I rarely post recipes here but wanted to share this one because it’s been a real life-saver for this newly Dairy-Free protein supplement junkie.

I first came across the magnificent valley of green bounty early in a hike up…
KIDDING. Too many recipes have an overblown backstory of the author’s emotional attachment to locally-sourced berry compotes, but not me. Won’t catch me rambling on about things that don’t feed the story. I hate that. Not “hate,” that’s a strong word I like to reserve for Hate Groups and people who dawdle in the line for samples at Costco. MOVE ON WITH YOUR MINI-TACO, ya know? Jeez.

OK, but, I came up with this randomly. I had a food sensitivity panel done and milk, dairy, and whey were all highly allergenic to my system, so I had to find a new protein supplement.
This mix comes out like a chocolate pudding/mousse. It’s thick and has a chocolate cake-batter type flavor. I think the coconut cream adds a great smoothness to it, healthy-ass fats to keep fats off your healthy ass, and helps it firm up in the fridge.
My kids even like this, which is very rare.

Ingredients (here’s what I use, do what you like):
Orgain Chocolate Protein Powder – 2/3 Cup
Almond Milk – 2/3 Cup
Coconut Cream (Trader Joe’s has a great one for $1.50) – 1/4 Cup
Vanilla Stevia drops – 4-5, or to taste
Options:
Cinnamon, Fiber powder (I have used Acacia fiber, 0 taste to it), a pinch of sea-salt, almond butter, peanut butter, melted coconut oil (drizzle it in and it makes coconut “chips” when it cools), etc.

Put the first 2 in a bowl and sloooooowly mix them together with a whisk. Vegetable-based protein powder has a much finer texture than whey, and will go “aerosol” on ya if you get aggressive with it.
After it combines, it will be a little soupy but thicker than a usual protein shake. It’s okay to add a little more almond milk to loosen it up, but not too much. You want to keep it well-combined but a little thick
Add the coconut cream and stevia, and any extras. The cream really smooths the mixture. It will help bring it all together when it cools in the fridge, also.
Chill for 30min-1hr while the mixture chills for 30min-1hr.

Something extra for those of us looking to get a protein fix and some sweetness to it.
YES, you can freeze it. I have an ice cream maker I plan to throw this into over the weekend. Will report back, assuming all goes well or if I don’t eat so much I’m immediately a Centaur.

July 2, 2015 0

Are You Too Good of a Parent?

I have a term in my vocabulary for people who do little else than bupple-up negative stuff from around the world, things that perhaps aren’t in the brightest of lights, and they feel you really need to understand how this is hurting ~~you~~ them. The term is “ShamePolice.” These are people who were likely the kid in grade school raising their hand on a Friday afternoon to remind the teacher of that homework assignment she mentioned before recess. This is the person who drives 61 in the passing lane, because that ought to be “fast enough.”

Don’t let them pull you over, because if you do, it validates the life-time they ~~shit into the gaping abyss of their self-importance~~ spent discussing ideas and articles about it. And if nothing else, Misery loves Company. That being said, “philosophers” Adam Swift and Harry Brighouse are two of the biggest fucktard ShamePolice officers I’ve ever come across, and I have unlimited internet access. They call themselves philosophers because “part-time thinker, part-time Sandwich Artist” wouldn’t fit on their pocket protectors (unconfirmed).

In their “study” of familial structure, parental involvement, and nurturing a child’s life, they theorize that parents who are involved in their kid’s lives in thoughtful, loving, nurturing ways that are aimed at creating an environment in which to Parent a well-rounded, empathic, intelligent, world-friendly citizen are creating an “unfair disadvantage” in society. To whom is this an “unfair disadvantage?”

“‘What we realised we needed was a way of thinking about what it was we wanted to allow parents to do for their children, and what it was that we didn’t need to allow parents to do for their children, if allowing those activities would create unfairnesses for other people’s children’.”

To kids and families and parents who are NOT taking steps to create similar environments and/or children. The “advantaged” families are creating an “unlevel playing field” against kids who are NOT being nurtured.

I just pooped the OUTSIDE of my pants.
The article states, and I’m paraphrasing, that reading to your kids before bed is a stronger foundation builder than the ability to send the child to an elite private school. Bonding with the kids in any way possible, therefore, is more valuable than an education that may get a “ooh wooow!” from external people. If you’re kid loves to read about dinosaurs, and you’re building that interest with reading and movies and play, you’re way better off than the parent who ships the kid off to study geology and biology and natural selection.

I have the softest, tear-filled place in my soul for kids who are neglected in any way whatsoever. I can barely look at the words of a link about babies being left alone for 9 hours while “dad” played FarmSubsidy on facebook. I have met, coached, and played with kids who aren’t from the best family situations, and they have all been the first-in for a big hug or high-five when it’s time to go. Kids need attention from people who care.

This also assumes that children who aren’t read-to or aren’t in elite schools are being victimized by those who are. It starts at home, period. If a parent says their loud, rude, whiny 6 year-old is “just being 6”, I’m going to assume they are a shitty parent who doesn’t understand the term “Product of Environment.”

But this is what philosophers do, after all. They THINK about stuff, and imagine what it would be like if… Hypothesize Me! And this study brought forth just the most ridiculous aspect of how to raise, nurture, discipline, and foster the growth of a child into, at the least, a decent member of society.

And then there’s me, making my Citizen’s Citations against the ShamePolice. I should be above it, but I care too much about raising kids to see this horse-S and keep my fingers still.
“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.” – Plato

May 7, 2015 0

Death With Dignity, Instead of What Some People Deserve

Brittany Maynard recently ended her life at the age of 29, having battled aggressive brain tumors for years. As the tumors caused greater and more painful moments of being awake, and were found to be inoperable and terminal, Brittany called her own exit. The story has been well chronicled so I won’t cover it again here. However, a few years ago, this topic arose in Washington State, and it set my mind off into many different, somewhat dark regions. Having grievously watched my dad’s slow decline to a shell of a man from 2004-2009 due to dementia, the impact and effects on my family and his friends, I really began to wonder what I would do if my health came to a similar state.

The Death with Dignity act, or “physician-assisted suicide,” is available to people who have a terminal illness, incurable & excruciating pain, or have been talked into it by some family members. There’s a review process after applying to a few doctors, findable via Google and maybe Yelp? The applicant goes through a fair amount of testing to see what’s going on, and to make sure they’re not trying to get out of jury duty. Plus there’s the “less than 6 months to live” criteria. Seems subjective, but whatever…

So in all of this involvement of doctors and pharmacists and party planning and “affairs in order” and what-not, comes two main points I think must be addressed.

Is It Wrong? This is, by nature, a judgmental and personal-ethics statement within each person’s answer. Is choosing your own biological death’s date, based on a terrible illness, via the quiet undertow of a massive barbituate dosing, more acceptable than other forms of ending one’s life? Or is it in the days preceding your passing that keep it on the “light side,” being able to say Goodbye and take care of all the particulars and throw a party and cut the line at Starbucks every morning, Bucket List items and what-not?
What If It Doesn’t Work? You’ve said your “good-byes”, or “go F yourself”‘s, whatever the case called for. Your belongings are accounted for, donated, burned, repurposed, etc. And you gulp down the pills that are going to drop your blood-pressure to NIL, shut down your brain’s ability to fire off your heart muscles, and you’ll drift into the Great Other. Until BAMMO you wake up again barfing all over your Red & Gold Satin Burial robe, wondering why Heaven would welcome home a lost angel in such a horrific fashion, or maybe this isn’t Heaven, OH NO, IT’S WORSE… It’s your living room.
THEN what? I’d have a quick call to the prescribing doctor and see what the deal is. But at least you could start calling friends a few days later and freak them out. Your number comes up on their phone in the middle of their brunch, EEEEEE, creepy for them, FUN FOR YOOOU!

In a time when a fair number of people choose this route I wonder how much Brittany’s beauty played into it. Seriously, a young, beautiful person (by most standards) with a tragic illness chooses to die a few days after her husband’s birthday, and it’s national news for quite a while. What about the 78 year-old with colon cancer and carry-on colostomy bag, where’s their press?

I’m all-for the controlled slide to the Afterlife if your health is failing and you wake up to a painful existence every day. Sure, there might be a cure around the corner. There might be a pharmaceutical lottery win with your name on it. Or a natural cure right in your own back yard that somebody finds the day after you pass. But you should call your own shot if your body is taken over by cancer-caused agony. Can you be a role model of strength and endurance to those around you? For how long? Would you call a “deadline” (ha ha) to it, and if you’re not better by that date, Drop the Beats, DJ, this party’s starting?

In case you can’t go the quiet Rx route, involving doctors and lawmakers and news pundits, give me a call. I have access to a human catapult and some moonshine, we’ll go out like a hero in the parking lot of your workplace. As long as your insurance covers 80%.

November 11, 2014 0

Category: Health