It’s a basic human right that if you have the ability to express yourself, you should be able to express yourself without fear of tyrannical, violent downforce, be it Governmental, Societal, or Cee-Lo.  For real, tho.  However, a growing number of people in society have confused “Right To Speak” with “Cannot Be Judged,” and “Should Not Be Reprimanded Whatsoever.”  These people are either immature, overly-self-empowered, or a high-functioning mentally handicapped (MH) person.  Many of them are probably still in High School, or (insert enemy political party here).

If you want to see what our society really feels, just go to any news story online that allows comments, make sure the story is about politics or has a person of an ethnicity that isn’t WASPy, and have a field day.  Stopping short of using the “N-word” doesn’t show a person is intelligent and well-mannered; it only shows they WANNA USE IT, but aren’t sure if anybody’s got their back.  In the previous paragraph I held back from saying “Retard” because that does offend some people, although I think you can call other people “retarded” if you have a diagnosed (and somewhat obvious) form of what was once referred to as “retardation.”  I would say it’s funnier for a MH to call somebody a “retard,” though not as call as when Daquan calls you “his N-word.”  If he called you his “retard,” that’s a bit much, unless Daquan himself is MH’ed, then he’s probably racist.

So when those comments are posted, or the comments people post on that Instagram picture of your first attempt at rose water-infused, gluten-free competitive cheesecake, make you feel like, golly, you could just rip the fucker’s face off and powershit into their now-lipless mouth-hole, WHAT CAN YOU DO?

1. Call ’em out.  Fight back a little and defend yourself.  Don’t get defensive, just state your case.  Let their names be known, if you can.  Anonymity is the One Ring That Binds internet comment trolls.
2. Ignore it.  Lots of trolls out there, who are just trying to start crap and truly have nothing better to do than try and start internet fights.  They breathe in life from making a point of taking time to crap on whatever they can find to crap on.  They have very little originality to offer.  It happens, shrug it off.
3. Go all-out and get in the fray.  Fire off every word you can think of for every negative comment and let people know you are NOT messing around on your comments section.
4. Pick Your Battles.  Not everything is worth going to the mat for.  Know what’s off-limits, and let people know, and if they don’t censor themselves, see #3.  Remember the first person to use CAPS LOCK in their reply, loses.

Instead of shrugging off everything, mix it up.  Keep people guessing.  Ignoring stuff is the ultimate self-empowerment.  Some folks, however, do it in real life and that’s inexcusable.  I’ll address how to handle public judgment of others in a future post.  Save yourself the hassle and just buy a boat horn right now, though.

Just remember… fighting on the internet is like being in the Special Olympics…
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